Terminator 2

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | Grade It Now!
Terminator 2
Then he orders Arnold to help him rescue Sarah. And not a moment too soon, because in the next shot, we see Officer Robert driving into the hospital. Then we see Sarah being put to bed in five-point restraints. Just to be creepy, the orderly licks her face. She doesn't react, but once she's alone, it's out with the paperclip. The restraints and door lock are no match for her mad skillz. Officer Robert infiltrates the building by pretending to be part of the floor. What's next, ninjas disguising themselves as a hedge? The T-1000 stops looking like Officer Robert long enough to take the form of the portly security guard, who is fortuitously looking the other way. Snikt! goes the finger, and the real guard dies. So, do you know how they created the illusion of two identical security guards? They hired identical twins. Maybe it's me, but I don't think that qualifies as a "special visual effect." Cameron did that in Titanic, too. To create the illusion of an enormous ship sinking, he built an enormous ship and then sank it. The man's a genius. So now the portly security guard is, in reality, the Evil Terminator, and there is suspense because Sarah's desperately trying to pick the lock of her cell with only two halves of paperclip. The face-licking orderly, on his rounds, discovers a broken mop seconds before Sarah shows up, holding the other half with which to pummel him. It's none of my business, but she should focus less on the revenge-pummeling and more on the generally-escaping. She logically stashes the orderly's body in her cell and grabs his key ring. Running down the hallway, she generates another annoying foley-related mistake: someone felt it necessary to bring to my attention the fact that she's running in bare feet, but the sounds are those of someone in shoes. Great. Like I need that. The T-1000 has tired, somewhere along the way, of being a portly security guard when it could be the sleek and creepy Officer Robert. Sarah comes upon an orderly and Dr. Condescending. She quickly and efficiently beats them into submission (claiming, along the way, that there are 215 bones in the human body), and then fills a syringe with drain cleaner. Outside the hospital, John and Arnold pull up. Arnold reluctantly promises not to kill anyone, so he shoots the first security guard he sees in both legs. "He'll live," he says. Oh, the hilarity. Sarah successfully hostages her way through a couple of doors, but makes the cardinal mistake of walking backwards through a corridor. Hero Orderly jumps out, grabs the syringe, and gets knocked down for his trouble. She takes off down the hall while some jerk starts the Escaped Patient Alarm. My day was going fine without an Escaped Patient Alarm, you know. At no point was I thinking "You know what would go great right about now? WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! That's what I need!" I can't tell for sure, but it sounds to me like bare feet when she runs. But who am I to doubt the word of anonymous mistake finders on the internet? Sarah gets two doors ahead of the posse, and breaks off a key in a lock. She thinks she's safe when an elevator opens, but it's Arnold! Unlike the rest of us, Sarah didn't see the movie when it came out ten years ago, or she'd realize that Arnold's the good guy. Instead, she freaks out in a way entirely appropriate for someone in a mental institution. Hero Orderly makes a diving tackle when she turns to run, but Arnold disposes of the posse. John tries to convince Sarah that he's here to help. Arnold says, "Come with me if you want to live," which is just one of the lines in the commercials that ruined the whole effect of thinking that Arnold was the bad guy.

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