X-Files

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You're the Man Now, Doggett!

Doggett wakes up with a start to find himself in the Catacombs of Vomit, all nekkid, but (sadly for all you Doggetteers out there) covered in barf. He stiffly pries himself out of his sandy bed. For someone who got shot, died, was buried, dug up, eaten by a Soul-Eating Shaman refugee from a bad '80s sitcom, and vomited up alive, he doesn't look all that surprised. In the corner of the Catacombs of Vomit, The Blonde tends to Kevin, who's both pale and lifeless. Doggett kneels next to the dead man. The Blonde tearfully tells him that "it took [his] death" to free Kevin from his endless binge and purge cycle of life-giving bulimia.

Back at FBI HQ, Doggett sits, shell-shocked, in front of his computer. Not typing. Staring at the cursor. Looking teary. Skinner walks into the Lush Basement office, just in time to dry Doggett's tears, which never actually fall, because, you know, he's a manly man. "You're here late," Doggett says, wanly. "So are you," retorts Skinner. Doggett sighs. "I wanted to finish my case report before Agent Scully comes in tomorrow morning," he explains. Agent Who? Who is this Scully person of whom you speak? I don't think I know who that is anymore. Doggett stares at his monitor and tells Skinner that he doesn't know where to begin or how to explain what happened over the weekend. He sighs that he's no closer to finding Mulder than he was when he started. Skinner eyes him sympathetically and tells Doggett that he managed to "get inside" Mulder's head. He warns him, however, not to write the report, and unleashes a whole long speech on him, full of fire and emotion. "You'll open a world of trouble for Scully and yourself," Skinner begins. "She's innocent!" Doggett interjects. Skinner asks how long it will take for them to prove that -- how much damage the investigation will do "to her good name, and to Mulder's? And [Doggett's]? For what?" Skinner's eyes blaze behind his glasses. "The truth," Doggett says, firmly. Skinner smiles ruefully. "You and I both know what happened out there, Agent. No one else needs to," he says, and takes his leave. Doggett picks up a piece of paper with the Shaman's symbol on it, and stares at it thoughtfully. As he puts the paper back on his desk, a cymbal clashes. Suddenly, Mulder is leaning against his own desk, looking at Doggett. Doggett looks perplexed, to say the last. He furrows his brow. Mulder just calmly looks at him. And then he disappears. Wait! Come back! I still have questions! A lot of...hello? Wait! Aww, man.

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X-Files

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