A guard lets Scully and Skinner inside Mulder's cell. He turns and stares at them blankly. The guard closes the door, leaving them alone. "Mulder?" Scully asks hesitantly. "I smelled you coming, Clarice," he says to her, doing his best Anthony Hopkins. Scully blanches. Skinner's eyes are bugging out of his head. Mulder bursts out laughing. Oh, thank God. I couldn't have sat through two hours of Brainwashed Mulder. "Dammit, Mulder. It's not funny to see you putting on that act," Scully yelps, relieved. Mulder smiles -- genuinely, not the Creepy Brainwashed Mulder Smile -- and tells her that what's not funny is what they do to you in the clink if you don't put on that act. Then he walks right over to her, takes her face in his hands and kisses her. I think I just heard some girls down the street squealing. Oh, that was me. By the way, they're still kissing. I wish it wasn't so dark. I can't even tell if they're using tongue. Oh, did I say that? I surely don't know why, since I have no interest in such things. Yeah, still kissing. Kissing. They pull apart for a moment, then Mulder kisses her again. Skinner's blushing and discreetly staring at the floor. "Come here, you big bald beautiful man," Mulder snarks, reaching out to Skinner. Skinner snips that the only thing Mulder's going to be kissing is his "ass goodbye" with all the trouble he's in. "I kind of gathered that, right around the fiftieth brainwashing session," Mulder says, putting his arms around Scully and then taking her hand in his and kissing it. Okay, can I just be totally biased and girly and completely destroy what little recapper's objectivity I have left and squeal that Mulder is totally dreamy and I want him to kiss my hand while we're trying to figure out how to spring him from the pokey and I worry about how to tell him that I farmed our miracle baby off to a bunch of farmers? Whee! Sorry.
Episode Report CardJessica: B+ | 704 USERS: C+
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