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The Truth, Part I

Enter the tribunal, one of whom is Kersh. Actually, I think Kersh is the judge, which seems...oh, whatever. The tribunal is made up of the Toothpick Chewing Man, and a bunch of random white guys we've never seen before. The guards bring in Mulder, who didn't even get to change out of his Ugly Orange Jumpsuit into a suit. Dale opens the case by telling the jury that he's calling no witnesses, but instead submitting the sworn testimony of thirty eyewitnesses. Skinner's turn: he moves to dismiss, on grounds that this entire exercise violates Mulder's right to a fair trial. Kersh doesn't care. "I suggest you call a witness," he says. Instead, Skinner asks for a delay, because his central witness (Marita Cornucopia!) "works for the UN, and [he] can't locate her." And he's not getting any help from the government in finding her either, he grouses. Does Marita really still work for the UN? I can't believe she wasn't run out of town on a rail, at least to shut her up. At the mention of Marita, Mulder shoots Skinner a surprised look. Kersh denies the request for a delay and tells Skinner to call another witness. Skinner stiffly agrees, but announces that he's doing so "under protest." Kersh scoffs that the panel's "judgments and rulings are sovereign. There is no record." Skinner's eyes bug way out. "Excuse me?" he spits. Mulder sucks on his lower lip. "This isn't a secret tribunal, as you so kindly informed me," Skinner sputters. "It's a court of law." Kersh purses his lips. "A military court of law," he says, and I'm taking the italics there in the closed captioning as a shout-out to me from the closed captioners. Thanks, guys! Mulder looks up at Skinner and quietly assures him that it's okay. "Try your case," he says. Skinner huffs and puffs.

"My name is Dana Katherine Scully," the first witness begins and I guess we should just be happy that at least the writers remembered her middle name. Skinner starts explaining the entire background behind Scully's partnership with Mulder -- how she was assigned to spy on him, then grew to trust him, and blah blah blah, I can't believe we're starting with the pilot. By the way, did you know that Scully is a medical doctor? Because, just in case you forgot, she is. And a scientist. Who do they think is watching this, anyway? I promise you, 1013, anyone watching the series finale is aware of the fact that Scully is the Skeptical Scientist and Mulder is the Big Believer.

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