Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
The Truth, Part I

"Time's up," the guard announces. "We're going to get you out of here," Scully tells him. "Why is that? I'm a guilty man," Mulder says. "Time's up," the guard reiterates. Scully looks intensely perturbed. "Uh, excuse me," Mulder says, and then turns his back on her. Skinner and Scully are the very picture of concern and consternation. Skinner stalks off. Scully shoots Mulder one last flabbergasted glance, then follows her boss out of the room with one final sad look back. "I don't understand," Mulder mutters toward the wall. "Why are you helping me?" It's Krycek. "Because you can't do this alone," Krycek tells him. And then the guard drags Mulder back to his sad, cold little cell.

FBI HQ. Doggett and Moronica. Still liking her flippy, flippy hair. My hair is also somewhat flippy, so I'm taking that as a shout-out to me. Although I've never made a secret of disliking Moronica, so it might be the insulting kind of shout-out. Anyway. "You saw him? Mooooouldar?" Doggett asks. Scully explains that he's in jail for murder. "Of who?" Doggett asks "[Noel Rooooooaoaoaoaor]," Scully says. Again, with the exposition of stuff we, the audience, already know. Doggett sputters that it can't be. "I watched Noel Roaoaoaoaoaoaoaor die," he says. "He can't die -- Noel Roaoaoaoaoar's a super soldier," Moronica says. Oh, here we go again. Now the characters can't even agree on what the hell is happening. This might be a good time to remind everyone that the episode last week was about The Brady Bunch instead of something that might have started clearing all of this the hell up. Skinner explains that Mulder was apprehended at Mount Weather: "The place where they say our so-called 'shadow government' is installed." Hang on: which shadow government is this? The Super Soldiers? Some other X-Filesian shadow government? Or is he talking about that super-secret bunker where they're keeping Dick Cheney these days? Oh, whatever. That's the least of our problems. Moronica asks what the charges are. "Thirty government workers are ready to testify that they saw Mulder push a man to his death," Skinner says. Um, excuse me. We KNOW THIS. We have, what? An hour and forty-five minutes left? Let's go! Now Doggett's making some noise about how Mulder couldn't possibly have killed a man who can't be killed. I guess he changed his mind in the last five minutes and he didn't actually see Noel Raoaoaoaoooooooor getting killed because all of a sudden, he's saying that Noel Roaoaooooooooar can't be killed. I'm getting this sharp shooting pain behind my eye. Scully makes a face and stomps out. "Where are you going?" Doggett asks. "To beg mercy with the man upstairs," Scully announces shortly.

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