X-Files

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The Truth, Part II

Wait, where were we? Right: Doggett. He calls the Super Soldiers "a whole different story" because he saw them with "[his] own eyes." Unlike, say, the ManBat or the Vomiting Shaman, which I guess he saw through someone else's eyes. Doggett reminds everyone -- for the seven thousandth time -- that Super Soldiers can't die. "They just come back to life," he explains. Skinner wonders what, exactly, the Super Soldiers are. "The best I can figure, they're some kind of secret military project. Ordinary men, made invincible," Doggett explains. Dale objects for some reason I didn't catch because I was in the kitchen, making a tuna sandwich. What can I say? It sounded good. Skinner reiterates that Noel Roaoooooaoaoooor is one of these Super Soldiers, and that because he can't be killed, Mulder can't possibly be a murderer. Dale points out that Doggett has no right to be commenting on any of this, since he didn't see the murder happen and he hasn't looked over the evidence. "That's because I've been getting the bum's rush from the government," Doggett snaps. Kersh sustains the objection. Skinner makes a very defeated face and asks Doggett how Mulder could possibly have killed Noel Rooooooaaar if Noel Rooooooaaaaaaaor is all invincible. Doggett agrees that Mulder couldn't have. Because the only way to kill a Super Soldier is with magnetite. God, why couldn't they have just stuck with the clones and the bees and the oil and virus? Because this entire Super Soldier plot line just smells incredibly tacked on. I will never understand why 1013 thought it would be a good idea to add yet another layer to the mytharc in the last two years of the series. Do they really want to drive half of us to suicide? Don't answer that. Although, while we're at it, I'd really like to know why the magnetite kills the Super Soldiers, but made William into a Real Boy, because I thought William was the first naturally born Super Solider. Or was it that he was the leader of the aliens? Maybe he just had his magical junk DNA turned on, like Gibson? But none of this explains why the Crazy Canadian Cult (or, as Gustave would say, the Krazy Kanadian Kult) wanted the head of Fox Mulder to ensure that William...oh, whatever. I've spent the last two years of my life trying to figure out William: why William? How William? Where William? What William? And now, I'm washing my hands clean of it. La la la la, the baby never happened! "And Mulder's not accused of [luring Noel Roaoaooaoaaoooor near to a source of magnetite and getting him sucked into a big rock] is he?" Skinner asks. "Um, no," Doggett says.

X-Files

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