MONDO EXTRAS

Locker room. Ernesto tells Mango that Moronica isn't good enough to dance in the festival. "She doesn't have it in her blood!" he says. "I can take her there!" Mango responds. Gross. Ernesto sadly wonders why Mango is setting himself up for failure, and Mango stomps out.

Mango and Moronica frolic in the street after her first practice with the DDC. She whines that her feet are killing her. Mango tells her that she could use some medical attention. At his house. If you know what I mean, and I think you do. Yeah, so they go to his place, and first, he massages her nasty-ass feet. Then he says stuff about talking with his body. And then they do it. Salsa-style!

Later, they wake up, all naked and whatnot. Moronica rubs Mango's waxed chest. "How do you feel?" he asks. "Free," she sighs. Gag.

Moronica talks to her brother about her broken engagement. He's happy if she's happy. That's it. Seriously, that was the entire scene.

Montage of Salsariffic Happiness: Moronica takes more pictures of the children in Mango's class, who seem only to be learning about the bongos and the rhythm of life. If I were the mother of one of those children, I'd wonder why my child wasn't learning any, say, math. Anyway. Moronica wears a cute pair of capris and she and Mango skip and scamper around town, the very portrait of spicy young lurve.

So, Moronica goes to watch Mango play soccer at a park, with his family and friends. Man-Woman approaches Moronica and says that Moronica is preventing Mango from achieving all his hopes and dreams. Oh, and she also mentions that Moronica was part of a bet. Moronica and her ugly straw hat, stunned, say nothing.

This is where I expect to see the I Was A Bet? I Was A Fucking Bet? scene, but no such luck. Instead, Moronica gets all snippy with Mango during their next private lesson, and, after sighing loudly for six or seven years, finally gets around to mentioning that Man-Woman told her she was part of a bet. But she's pretty calm about it. I mean, there's no wailing or throwing of glassware. Mango totally explains the bet thing as more of dare -- a challenge. "There's a difference," he says calmly. Then he says there's no point in that discussion. Moronica moans that she's ruining all of Mango's dreams! "Nobody knows my dreams but me!" Mango shouts. Moronica leaves. Um. Okay. Wasn't he trying to tell her that...? But, I thought...? Ah, screw it. These two freaks are meant for each other: they're clearly destined for years of yelling about things that make no sense to anyone else and then running outside in a huff.