MONDO EXTRAS

The Way She Moves

by Jessica September 4, 2001 11:00 PM
X-Files

After the meal, Moronica takes Matt aside and wonders why he didn't tell her about this whole New York thing. His cell phone rings in the middle of their conversation. Matt holds his hand up in Moronica's face and takes the call. Clearly, he is the devil. And he can't dance. Run, Moronica, run!

The office. Matt calls Moronica and tells her he can't make their salsa lesson that evening. She feebly protests. "I don't have time, sweetie," he says. They hang up. Moronica looks sad. Tramp #1 comes up and sits on Moronica's desk. Her skirt is so short, I'd advise Moronica to tackle that square foot of desk with some Lysol after the Tramp tramps off. "Let me guess. He's blowing you off?" Moronica nods. "I'd feel sorry for you, except at the moment, I'm being blinded by your engagement ring," the Tramp continues. Because, you know, if you have the good fortune to snag some rich dude, you have no right to expect happiness and respect along with all the cash. Duh. Moronica wearily removes the ring and hands it to Tramp #1, who stares at it, mesmerized by all the sparkly jewels. Moronica tells Tramp #1 that she and Matt might be moving to New York. "Great!" Tramp #1 chirps. "Terrible?" she offers, after seeing Moronica's expression. Moronica gloomily responds that she might skip their dance lesson tonight. Mid-gloom, they're interrupted by a chubby guy I assume is some kind of boss, and they hustle off to do something work-related. Be that as it may, they somehow manage to leave Moronica's engagement ring sitting there on the desk.

Center for Salsa Dancing and Relationship Destruction. The Tramps head into the studio, but Moronica hears music and goes to investigate. She spies Mango dancing alone in another studio. She's hypnotized by his manic pelvic thrusting and snaps several pictures with her handy-dandy camera. Mango shakes his booty. He waves his elbows like wings. He rips his shirt in two, like The Hulk, and twirls it around his head. Finally, Man-Woman stomps in and turns off Mango's music. Man-Woman and Mango exchange inane banter. Man-Woman tells Mango that he "was holding her back," and that he doesn't have "the drive or the ambition to make it." Mango flings himself on the floor. Literally. On his stomach, like a child. "I'm out of [Mango's] Night," Man-Woman announces. "Find another partner!" she snaps. "Fine!" "Fine!" Finally, Moronica is embarrassed by her spying and slinks off to join her class in the next room. "I suppose you can make anyone look good?" Man-Woman spits. "Anyone!" Mango returns. "Bueno! Her," Man-Woman challenges, looking at Moronica, who's dancing poorly in the other room. "Make her look good. I dare you," Man-Woman dares him. Mango and Man-Woman stare at Moronica, who catches them looking at her. Mango makes a "what the hell?" face, and agrees.

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