MONDO EXTRAS

"Have one drink with him and then call me. I'll take over. A little horizontal mammmmmmbo," Tramp #1 purrs as the Tramps and Moronica go to their car. Ew. Moronica squeals that she doesn't want Mango! She's engaged! To a Man Who Does Not Salsa! She holds up her ringless finger as a learning aid, and then gasps.

Moronica and the Tramps tear their office apart, looking for the ring. No luck. Moronica moans that Matt is going to kill her. The Tramps look sympathetic. Tramp #2 is sure someone found the ring and put it in a safe place. Moronica looks distraught. Wow, I sure hope this isn't, like, an omen.

Upscale Bar For the Last Six Yuppies In Houston. Moronica sits with Matt and two other assholes, who seem to be Matt's co-workers and/or friends. The Assholes ignore Moronica whenever she opens her mouth, and then take off with Matt, leaving her there alone. "It's going to be a late one," Matt says as he leaves. "I'll call you tomorrow." Moronica sits alone in the bar and wonders why she's marrying such a total tool.

Salsa Club of Crotch Grinding and Engagement Breaking. Dancing! Salsa! Passion! Crotches! Sequins! Mango meets Moronica in line for the club, and breaks the news to her that their first lesson will take place inside the club, rather than in the privacy of the studio. They go inside. People are, as one would expect, dancing. On the dance floor, Mango tries to teach Moronica a few moves, but she stomps all over his feet and runs out, overcome with shame over her lack of rhythm and her inability to grind her pelvis artfully.

Outside. Mango is suddenly wearing a blazer, having stopped in his mad dash after Moronica to stop by the coat check and retrieve it. He admits that bringing her to the club was a mistake. "It was insensitive," he says. "Look, this is just beginning. This is all new to you. You'll get there. It's my job to make sure you get there." I'm not sure we're still talking about dancing.

Mango takes Moronica back to the studio for another scene ripped off from Strictly Ballroom. Take that montage where Paul Mercurio and his Ugly Duckling/Swan partner are training for the big competition and add a little cilantro, and you're got this scene, including the "feel the beat in your heart" pounding-your-chest move. Mango's all opening Moronica's soul to lurve through the power of dance, and shit. Then he puts her hand on his crotch and tells her to "surrender herself." If that happened in any other kind of lesson -- driving, for example -- someone would end up in jail. Anyway. They dance. They dance! The Latin Music of Stereotypical Blossoming Passion wails in the background. When the lesson is concluded, Mango makes Moronica take a bow. She giggles.