Episode Report CardJessica: C- | Grade It Now!
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At the Studio for Unstable Salsa Choreographers, the Mango dances alone. Enter Moronica. Mango, that whiny baby, is still upset. Moronica gently tells him that their timing is all wrong. He doesn't say much of anything. Blah blah blah, she decides to go back to the rich asshole and leave Mango to his one true love, the dance. Mango manfully conceals his devastation. "When the music stops, that's when we see our limitations," he mutters. "You and I both know it's the right decision," Moronica tells him. "Is it?" Mango asks her. "Goodbye," Moronica says. And leaves. Uptight WASP Church of Houston. Moronica's brother pulls up at the front of the church, driving his firetruck, complete with a "Just Married" sign. Inside the church, Moronica and Tramp #1 are still talking about Mango. On Moronica's wedding day. Tramp #1 insists that Moronica chose the right guy. Moronica and her fluffy veil still look doubtful. Mom is walking into the church, and overhears Matt telling one of his asshole friends that he didn't turn down the New York job after all. He cackles evilly. "That's what honeymoons are for," he says "Two days in Hawaii and I'll have her so turned around, she'll think New York was her idea." Mom looks horrified. "Whatever you say, man," the asshole friend tells Matt. "That's right," Matt agrees. Boy, I sure hope Moronica marries him! Because they are an awesome couple! Over at the park, or somewhere, the dance festival is well underway, with people whooping it up and dancing poorly. But Mango is sad without his woman. He tells Goatee that he wishes Moronica could be there to see them dance. "I know, bro," Goatee says mournfully. Church time. Moronica, waiting to go down the aisle, catches her mother's eye. Mom scampers over to her daughter's side, and tearfully tells her to "marry for love." Moronica says nothing. "Not because of me, or anybody else, but because you love him more than anyone else in the world," Mom says, before confessing that Moronica's father was a wonderful man, and that she loved him, but she wasn't in love with him, you know? "Honey, just listen to your heart," Mom concludes. I would have mentioned the Matt Is A Lying Bastard thing, but that's me. Mom tips-taps off to take her seat in the church. Moronica is expressionless. Moronica makes it about halfway down the aisle, before she starts having flashes of the salsa. Seriously, she's hallucinating Mango. She tosses her bouquet to the floor and bolts from the church, her brother hot on her heels. The guests look flabbergasted, and Matt looks appalled. They all turn and gaze out the windows of the church just in time to see Moronica climb on the back of her brother's firetruck, which then takes off, sirens blaring. The Tramps and Moronica's mother exchange looks. They know where she's gone. They give chase.