Episode Report CardJessica: C- | Grade It Now!
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After the lesson, Goatee chats up the Tramps. "What's [Mango's] Night?" Tramp #1 asks him, waving a flyer. "Come, and find out," Goatee leers. Banter. Turns out that Mango's Night is a promotional night for the studio at a local salsa club, featuring lessons and then dancing. Dancing! The Tramps agree to attend. The promise of Mango lures them! They cannot resist his magical pelvis! Locker room. Mango tells Goatee that he has to "go find his new partner." Goatee reminds him that Moronica "ain't got no rhythm. She's got two left feet and knees like razor blades." Mango swears he can make Moronica look good. "If I can turn this girl with two left feet into someone who can really dance, what better advertisement for the studio?" he asks rhetorically. Mango catches Moronica as she and the Tramps are leaving. He asks her to be his partner at Mango's Night. "You're kidding, right?" Moronica sputters. He thinks it would be good to have a beginner instructing from the dance floor, he explains. Moronica stutters that she's terrible. Mango doesn't mention that that's the point, but tells her to meet him...somewhere...the next night. Tramp #1 chirps that Moronica will be there! Moronica makes a helpless face as the Tramps twitter mindlessly and drag her out of the studio. "Have one drink with him and then call me. I'll take over. A little horizontal mammmmmmbo," Tramp #1 purrs as the Tramps and Moronica go to their car. Ew. Moronica squeals that she doesn't want Mango! She's engaged! To a Man Who Does Not Salsa! She holds up her ringless finger as a learning aid, and then gasps. Moronica and the Tramps tear their office apart, looking for the ring. No luck. Moronica moans that Matt is going to kill her. The Tramps look sympathetic. Tramp #2 is sure someone found the ring and put it in a safe place. Moronica looks distraught. Wow, I sure hope this isn't, like, an omen. Upscale Bar For the Last Six Yuppies In Houston. Moronica sits with Matt and two other assholes, who seem to be Matt's co-workers and/or friends. The Assholes ignore Moronica whenever she opens her mouth, and then take off with Matt, leaving her there alone. "It's going to be a late one," Matt says as he leaves. "I'll call you tomorrow." Moronica sits alone in the bar and wonders why she's marrying such a total tool. Salsa Club of Crotch Grinding and Engagement Breaking. Dancing! Salsa! Passion! Crotches! Sequins! Mango meets Moronica in line for the club, and breaks the news to her that their first lesson will take place inside the club, rather than in the privacy of the studio. They go inside. People are, as one would expect, dancing. On the dance floor, Mango tries to teach Moronica a few moves, but she stomps all over his feet and runs out, overcome with shame over her lack of rhythm and her inability to grind her pelvis artfully.