Episode Report CardJessica: C- | Grade It Now!
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Upstairs, Mango sits on Moronica's desk and looks at her photos. "It is just as I thought! You're good!" he exclaims. Moronica opens the lower desk drawer to look for more of her work, and finds her ring, sitting there at the bottom. As Moronica gathers flies with her gaping mouth and stares, Mango unearths the pictures Moronica took of him dancing alone. He makes a shocked face. She looks up and apologizes. "I. See," Mango says stiffly. Moronica stammers that she didn't mean to offend him. "No, you didn't," Mango spits in an offended tone, and then runs away. What? Does he think she...I don't even know what he was thinking. Has the salsa perhaps affected his cognitive reasoning? Later, Moronica drives her mother home; Mom thanks her by regaling her with a supposedly instructive story about a passionate affair Mom had with a "nice Jewish boy" before she meet Moronica's father. Neither set of parents was happy about the relationship, she says. "After time, I began to see, and so did he," Mom finishes vaguely. Moronica's all, what are you talking about? Her mom is all, nothing. Man, these people are uptight. Seriously, is it still that big a deal to date outside your absolutely exact ethnic background? Especially somewhere as diverse as Houston, where this flick allegedly takes place? In the year 2001? Because that's sad. And let's not even address the fact that Moronica isn't even dating Mango! She's just showing him pictures and letting him put her hand on his junk! PhotoFest. Moronica gloomily sits behind her desk, wearing a nice white suit. The phone rings: it's Mango with a lunch invitation and an apology for being such a freak the night before. Moronica runs out to meet him. Moronica arrives at the elementary school where Mango instructs America's youth in the beauty of the bongo and the glory of the mambo. Before going inside, though, she removes her ring. What a hussy! Inside the school, Moronica watches surreptitiously as Mango instructs children in the power of the dance! Latin music twangs in the background. Moronica whips out her camera and takes pictures of the kids frolicking, while Mango madly flings his arms around. Finally, Mango and Moronica head out into the yard, where he feeds her spicy and delicious Puerto Rican food and tells her stories about his homeland, where they all sang and danced in the street and were happy and passionate! Then he bursts into a chorus of "America" from West Side Story and twirls his colorful crinolines over his head. Not really. They're saving that for the director's cut. Moronica apologizes about the photos again. Mambo just sighs that he wishes his uncle could see in him what Moronica saw in the photos. Or something. He wants to do more than the classic mambo, he exclaims. "I want to break down the laws!" he shouts. But there are rules! He would get kicked off the stage! Oh, the humanity! Moronica shovels more food into her mouth and nods.