X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 366 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Can This Be Happening?

Skinner, Scully and Doggett head over to a local motel to pay Little Richie a little visit. Richie immediately recognizes Scully, whose hair suddenly looks much better. She must have leaned over and shook it out sometime between now and the hospital. Thank God. Doggett wanders through the motel room, paying special attention to the wall over the bed, which is papered with UFO photographs and newspaper clippings. "Why are you in Montana if you're from Oregon?" he wonders. Richie sputters in his hopped-up-on-Sweet Tarts-and-Pepsi way that his "buddy" Gary was abducted right before Mulder was, and he's been looking for him this whole time. Concentrating on saving his friend. Not even taking time out to, you know, visit the world's largest block of cheese or investigate a bunch of freaks who believe that Jesus has returned to earth in the form of a freaking banana slug. He explains that he's tracked the UFO across the country, following news reports and visiting internet chats rooms to talk to fellow alien enthusiasts. And he's followed the ship here. Doggett, Skinner, and Scully listen to this litany open-mouthed. Yeah, y'all got shown up by a dorky kid from Oregon with nothing but a TV and his computer. Good work with all that. Maybe if you didn't waste your time investigating people that climb up other people's butts, Mulder wouldn't still be off getting his cheeks ripped apart by little metal claws of death! Anyway, Richie snuffles about how sorry he feels about poor Theresa, and how he never expected to find her there in the field, all hanging to life by a thread and whatnot. Doggett asks Richie about the "alien" he claims to have seen and wonders if perhaps the "alien" was actually just a man. Because they found footprints made by a pair of size 9 1/2 Nikes in the field. "Ever heard of an alien in Nikes?" Doggett sneers. Richie considers this, and agrees that, no, generally aliens prefer Adidas. "But what about the space ship?" he asks. Doggett doesn't respond, other than by furrowing his manly brow and stomping out of the room. Good comeback, J-Dawg.

Scully stomps her fluffy-haired ass after him. "What was that, in there?" she spits. Doggett informs her that he was "pressing the witness to get the truth." Scully sighs, and asks him if he really can't believe that the person Richie saw might not have been human. Doggett dismisses this, telling her that "it's not worth arguing about." Scully gives him a minor eyebrow, and reminds him that they've finally gotten a break in the Mulder case, a break they've been looking for months! Looking for half-assedly for months, I mutter. Doggett stares at Scully real hard and then Psych 101s that while he knows she wants to find Mulder, he thinks she's also scared of finding him. He then stomps off for the second time in as many scenes, as Scully does the stunned "Can It Be True?" Stare into the distance.

X-Files

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