X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
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The news that they're sailing for a sunny island paradise, full of rum and weed, instead of England during the Blitz throws the British sailors into a fury, and before you know it, people start throwing punches. Mulder starts yelling that they can't make it to England safely. Where does Mulder want to take her, then? Back to Bermuda? To America? The more I think about this episode, the less it makes sense. At least Scully looks pretty. More yelling. "There's only place he's going, Yank!" some Brit yells at Mulder. "JAMAICA!" Miss Kersho yells. Mulder grabs Miss Kersho and loudly informs him that the Germans will hunt him down wherever they go. More yelling. "Hear it out," Miss Kersho finally says, nodding at Mulder. "Who you be, boy?" Everyone looks at Mulder. "My name's Mulder," Mulder says for the twelfth time in the last six minutes. One of the Brits hollers that Mulder wants them to take the ship back to "bloody America." Mulder refutes this, telling them they have to turn the ship around the way it came. And it was coming from...America, right? With Thor's Hammer? Oy. Again, oy. My head. "Bloody 'ell! We're 'alfway 'ome!" one of the Brits yelps. I knew we would get a "bloody 'ell!" eventually. Mulder yells -- again -- that they have to turn the ship around. "And wot's in that direction?" Miss Kersho asks. "The future," Mulder says. "Actually, the past," he corrects himself. "Oh, well I'm convinced," snarks one of the Brits. Hee.

Mulder's trying to clarify his position when a Nazi stomps onto the catwalk above their heads and yells something about "der amerikaner," and Mulder is hauled off yet again. As he's dragged away, he pleads with Miss Kersho to turn the ship around. "Or Hitler rises, Germany wins, and you will never know what freedom is!" he screams. And this is where my head explodes. How does Mulder know that they're not supposed to keep heading toward Germany? Hang on, and I'll try to explain what I mean. When Mulder popped back in time (as far as he knows), the Germans had already boarded the ship and turned it toward Germany. Right? So it stands to reason that, in the past, that was always meant to happen. In other words, it's not like Mulder's appearing on the Queen Anne set into motion a chain of events that wouldn't have otherwise happened. You know, like, when Marty McFly went back to the '50s, and his mother fell in love with him instead of Crispin Glover, that really could have screwed stuff up for Marty, not to mention that it was sort of gross. But this seems like the equivalent of Marty going back in time just to observe his parents as teenagers. Like, Mulder's presence hasn't screwed up what had already been set in motion. Do you see what I mean? In essence, it seems that his trying to convince Miss Kersho to change the ship's course is, in effect, screwing with the future. Which, as we've all learned from watching TV, is probably a bad thing. Unless they need to turn the Queen Anne around because Mulder accidentally ratted out Thor's Hammer. I am so confused.

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X-Files

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