X-Files

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Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
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Outside, the Queen Anne floats peacefully on the open ocean. "Hey, Scully, get up here; you're not going to believe this," Frohike calls. Scully comes out from below deck and peers up at the ship. "The sky just cleared and there it was," Frohike tells her. "Is it the Queen Anne?" Scully asks. "That's her," Byers says mildly. Scully breathes that she can't believe it. "Seeing is believing," Frohike comments. Unless, of course, your name is Dana Scully, in which case you can get kidnapped by aliens and spirited away to a gigantic space ship in Antarctica, of all places, and still come out of it not exactly sure what to think. "They've got power," Scully says, nodding at the lights shining brightly from the Queen Anne's many portholes. "Maybe Mulder's already on board," Frohike says. "Let's hope he is," Scully says.

Screen wipe to RetroScully and poor stupid Mulder and those Nasty Nazis. "You're lying," Spender spits. "He's telling the truth," RetroScully insists. Spender tells her to shut her piehole. "Who is dee scientist?" he asks again. Mulder repeats that the dead guy is the scientist. CSM nods at some flunkies, who search the body and find a passport. "Vat is de man's name?" Spender asks. "John Brown," Mulder deadpans. "Ask me again and I'll knock you down." RetroScully sort of rolls her eyes, because some things don't change even when you fall through a rip in the space/time continuum. "Vat's his name?" Spender spits. "Puddintame. Ask me again and I'll tell you the same," Mulder replies. So Spender -- and maybe I should be calling him Svender, what with his spectacularly silly accent -- wriggles his gun around dramatically until a bald man finally steps forward. "Wait, don't shoot," he says. "I'm the scientist." Scully shoots Atomic Baldy a quick glance. "Wait, that man's a liar," she says. "I'm the scientist." Atomic Baldy implores RetroScully to tell the truth "so no one else has to die." Except for all those other people who end up getting killed in the war. "I don't know this man," Scully insists. Atomic Baldy tells the Nazis that, actually, Scully's been travelling with him to protect him; she's in the OSS -- which is the predecessor of the FBI. (When I was unemployed last summer, I went to the library, like, five times a week rather than spend a hundred dollars a month on Amazon as I am unfortunately wont to do, and I went through this whole section of books on spies and counter-intelligence, which was great fun. Anyway.) CSM and Svender start yapping away at each other. "That's great," Mulder mutters. "I don't see you doing any better," RetroScully snaps under her breath. The Nazis confab, and CSM has the final word. "What'd he say?" Mulder asks. The Nazis force Mulder and RetroScully onto their knees. She just looks at him. "I think I know what he said," Mulder mutters. "You learn fast," RetroScully retorts, pale. They wait on their knees, heads bowed. Just when it looks darkest for our heroes, there is a strange sighing noise, all over the ship. RetroScully looks up. "What's happening?" she asks. "The engine shut down," Mulder tells her. Everyone, passengers and Nazis alike, looks around, confused.

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X-Files

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