Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | 3 USERS: B-

Okay, so we kick off this week's episode of The X-Files with a very unusual teaser. It's a montage -- mostly of still photos -- complete with the Traditional Ponderous Scully Monologue, courtesy of Carter and Spotnitz, who have finally united to write the ultimate Pretty But Nonsensical Monologue. In addition, we're treated to The Sad and Lilting Piano Music of Abandoned Single Mothers. It's one hell of a combination. The montage opens with a black-and-white shot of Sad Scully, Pregnant and Alone, looking at herself in the mirror. This fades to a color shot of traffic. "One day, you'll ask me to speak of the truth," Scully says, as the headlights and traffic lights fade to a color photograph of the Capitol building. "Of the miracle of your birth. To explain what is unexplained." Stop-motion black-and-white photography of Scully walking out of somewhere, holding a small bouquet of flowers. "And if I falter or fail on this day, know there is an answer, my child." Black-and-white shot of Scully sitting alone in her car, all mopey. "A sacred, imperishable truth. But one you may never hope to find alone." Fade to another black-and-white shot of Scully, looking stricken. I think that one is from last season's premiere, when she was doing all that standing around and staring at herself. We switch over to color for a shot of Scully walking up to Mulder at a crime scene I don't immediately recognize. "Chance meeting your perfect other. Your perfect opposite," she says. "Your protector and endangerer."

The color shot fades into a series of black-and-white pics of Mulder and Scully running for a pay phone. These, I recognize; I think they were used for promotion for Fight the Future, but I wouldn't bet the farm. "Chance embarking with this other on the greatest of journeys." Color shot of the pair sitting in the Lush Basement Office, Mulder sitting behind his desk, Scully looking at her lap. "A search for truths fugitive and imponderable." At this moment, the Mulder action figure looks up from his spot on my lap. "Huh?" he asks. The Scully claps her hand over his mouth. "This is supposed to be moving," she tells him. "I'm just glad to be back," the Mulder mumbles through her fingers. Cut to a color shot of Mulder and Scully walking around, investigating stuff, circa season five (judging from the hair). "If one day this chance may befall you, my son," Scully continues, "do not fail or falter to seize it." Black-and-white shot of Mulder and Scully sitting on Mulder's sofa, a shot I'm fairly certain is from "all things." "The truths are out there," Scully says, as her photographic counterpart leans to whisper into Mulder's ear. "And if one day you should behold a miracle, as I have in you," she says, as we cut to stills from the end of "Memento Mori" (one of my favorite episodes ever), "you will learn the truth is not found in science, or on some unseen plane, but by looking into your own heart." Cut to black-and-white stills from "Existence," last season's finale: Mulder half-smiling. Mulder leaning in. Mulder kissing Scully. "And in that moment, you will be blessed." Shot of Sad Scully. "And stricken." Black-and-white shot of Mulder and Scully sitting on a hospital bed, one of the several times everyone thought he was dead. "For the truest truths are what hold us together," Scully concludes, "or keep us painfully, desperately, apart." The Sad Piano swells as Scully kneels beside an unidentified body and cries. Whee! This episode is going to be a blast, I can just feel it!

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