Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | 3 USERS: B-

FBI Evidence Lab. Enter Doggett, evidence bag in hand. He approaches an older female agent, who looks up at him and reveals herself to be...Mrs. Landingham, also from The West Wing! Man! This episode is West Wing-tastic. She lifts this little pseudo-miner's-light thing away from her eyes and glares at Doggett. "We spoke a few moments ago," Doggett says. "You said if I came right down, you might be able to help me out?" Mrs. Landingham purses her lips. "What'd I get myself into?" she asks. Doggett's got Scully's clothes. "A man handled them, and gave them to a female agent," he says. Mrs. Landingham takes the bag. "When do you need them?" she asks pertly. They've got a little over half an hour, Doggett says, after a glance at his watch. Why do they need to know this information before Mulder arrives? Because...oh, whatever. It's just not worth the mental effort. Mrs. Landingham gets to work. Doggett watches. She looks up. "Your staring over my shoulder doesn't make it go faster," she tells him. He stares back at her for a moment, almost smiling. Man, Doggett has way better chemistry with Mrs. Landingham than he does with Moronica. I sure wish this was The Doggett and Mrs. Landingham Hour. The two of them could dash around Washington, solving crimes and trading crusty witticisms. FOX could sandwich this show in between Scully and Cregg, a Cagney and Lacey-esque romp in which Dana and C.J. race around Washington, solving crimes and trading sassy witticisms, and John and Walter and Sam and Josh, a show about two crime-solving gay couples, who dart about Washington, solving crimes and trading boyfriends.

Train station. Scully looks at her watch. It's 11:30. She looks cold and nervous and almost a little happy. Moronica wanders around in the background, past the Coke machine. Cool, Refreshing Coca-Cola: When You're Waiting For the Man Who Will Never Show. Behind the wandering women, Mr. Mallory walks up to one of many, many surveillance cameras and spray paints over the lens.

LBO. Doggett's nifty retro-desk clock shows that it's twenty minutes to twelve. I have to say, it's rather clever the way 1013 is showing the passage of time using actual clocks and watches rather than the usual time/date stamp. Doggett finally sets down the baseball he was tossing around nervously, and books out of the office.

Five minutes. Train station. Moronica stands guard. Scully just stands, looking down the tracks, an apprehensive expression on her face. The train's bell clangs in the distance. Watching. Clanging. Watching. Clanging. Watching. And then Mr. Mallory takes out his gun and aims it, seemingly at Scully. Everything, suddenly, happens in slow motion. "Scuuuuuuullllllllllly!" Moronica screams, all slowly. Mark Snow cues up the Sad Piano of Dude, Mulder is Never Coming Back. Mr. Mallory screams, "Whhhhhhhyyyyyy?" at Michaud: the person at whom he's actually pointing his gun. Simultaneously, Moronica flings her body onto Scully's, knocking her onto the ground. It all reminds me of nothing so much as that episode of Friends wherein Phoebe takes a tranquilizer in the ass for Ross's monkey. Michaud draws his own firearm -- like, nice security, train station. Haven't you ever heard of terrorists? -- and shoots Mr. Mallory in the chest. Mr. Mallory falls down, just as someone shoots Michaud, first in the leg, then the chest. The shooter is Doggett, who appears as if from out of nowhere, his coat dramatically billowing around him. Michaud falls in front of the train. Which runs him over. The dude in charge at the train station walkie-talkies to the train that they've got two men down, and to "go on through." Scully peels herself up off the ground and runs at Walkie-Talkie, yelling that he's got to stop the train. He ignores her. "I'm a federal agent!" she shouts. "Keep rolling," he says. "Mulder!" Scully calls piteously, as the train speeds past her. Aw, man. Even though I knew Duchovny wouldn't be on this episode, I am strangely surprised and disappointed that the train didn't stop. How silly is that? After sobbing her little heart out for half a second, Scully goes to tend to Mr. Mallory, who dies right in front of her. Scully looks very sad, and starts to cry some more. She pounds on Mr. Mallory's chest and looks up at the sky and seems very, very lost. "Nooooooooooooo!" screams the Mulder action figure.

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