X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 1036 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Underneath

Okay, so now Meat Loaf is prowling around in these catacombs? I don't know. There's all this water. It's like Pirates of the Caribbean, but no Pirates. And lots of dead, decomposing bodies. Where ever he is, though, it's a excellent place to stash yet another dead body.

The police station, where Scully and Moronica are interrogating Meat Loaf, as Jane looks on and sniffles. Moronica slides the picture of BOB II over to Meat Loaf, who stiffens and pulls back. Doggett watches this from behind the two-way mirror. "Do you recognize this man?" Moronica asks. Meat Loaf whips out his rosary and starts talking to the Lord. Jane jabbers that they're talking to the Feds merely as a courtesy and yada yada yada, next time you see Carly Pope, ask her what happened to her career, Jane. "Are you a Catholic, [Meat Loaf]?" Scully asks. He shudders. "So am I," Scully continues calmly, saying that she remembers when her rosary was "a great comfort to her." In times of "tribulation," she says, asking Meat Loaf if this is a time of tribulation for him. Meat Loaf continues to recoil. "Is that why he won't leave you alone, [Meat Loaf]? Is it that you just want him to go away? Tell us about him. Tell us so we can help make him go away." Meat Loaf looks about ready to open his mouth and wail when Jane pushes the Portrait O' BOB II away and grips Meat Loaf by the upper arm and pulls him out the door. "No more mind games!" she says. "We're done!" She and Meat Loaf stomp out.

Doggett enters the interrogation room. "That was me changing my theory," Moronica announces. "What if a man of profound faith, a Catholic, was incapable of contrition?" she asks. "As in, he couldn't admit his own sins?" Scully asks. "Or even that he had a sinful side to him. As we all do," Moronica intones. She thinks that Meat Loaf is so terrified of his "sinful side" that he's actually manifesting a second personality. Mmmkay. Whatever. Doggett points out that this doesn't explain the DNA situation. "It would if he physically became that other personality," Moronica says. Doggett makes a Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde crack as Scully affects Bored Face Number 567,345. Moronica insists that there's a precedent "in the Catholic canon." Transubstantiation. "You mean water into wine?" Scully asks. Moronica nods, adding that in Communion, the wafer becomes the flesh of Jesus. The sixteen Catholic priests and three nuns still watching this show all groan. Moronica? The water into wine? The wafer into flesh? That's, like, a miracle. It's not something that happens because someone's got mental problems, or because it's, you know, kernifty. It's like saying that...well, I don't know. I haven't been to church in a long time. But it's a really bad metaphor and a giant logical leap and Mulder would have had an actual theory other than just, "Um, God does it, so why can't we?" "[Moronica], I've slept through my share of Sunday school, but I've never heard the one about a guy becoming another guy," Doggett drawls. Yeah, what he said. Moronica snips that it's the "only theory that makes sense." Scully is all, whaaaaatever. Doggett just wonders how one goes about catching a killer who's living inside an innocent man. That is a conundrum.

X-Files

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP