X-Files

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Doggett climbs down into the lower set of tunnels.

Moronica yells.

Doggett finally hears Moronica screaming, pulls his gun, and prepares to come to her aid. But in the worst editing job ever (ever. Ever), BOB II suddenly appears behind him and grabs him, or hits him. Or something. I seriously can't tell. Whatever he does, Doggett ends up dropping his gun in the drink. And BOB II's holding a screwdriver to Doggett's jugular. BOB II just stands there gently prodding Doggett with the tool (heh. I'm sorry. I'm twelve) until Moronica finally turns the corner twenty-five minutes later. "Don't waste your breath, just shoot the bastard!" Doggett yells. But no. First, Moronica has to counsel BOB II about the Meat Loaf inside him. Doggett glares at her, like, "Please shoot him and save my life. Any minute now. Please. No, please shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up." But she's still talking. First she calls BOB II a murderer. And BOB II squeals that he's not Meat Loaf. Or something. (When they fixed up this episode, I think they forgot to doctor the last five minutes, because this has suddenly become utterly nonsensical. I watched this several times and I'm still confused.) "You're not just a murderer. You're a sinner," Moronica announces dully. And then there's a melee and it's very confusing but it ends up with BOB II getting shot and falling in the clean, clean sewage and then getting fished out of the drink and turning out to be Meat Loaf after all. I guess he literally was a Bat Out of Hell.

So, poor Scully has to come down just to look at all the bodies. She's unimpressed. Really unimpressed. And who can blame her? "There are a lot of bodies there," she dully informs the sobbing, sniffling Jane. Jane sobs about the bearded man she saw and how he wasn't Meat Loaf at all. "I know what I saw," she says. Scully shrugs and wonders if Mulder remembered to pick up her dry-cleaning while he's out on his errands. Across the catacombs, Doggett's staring blankly at the wall. "I went forty-eight hours without sleep. I found out my ex-partner is a liar and a felon. Don't ask me to explain how this could be," he snaps at Moronica before she can even say a word. He can't accept this! Cannot! This is not how his mind works! Not how it works! No! Moronica grimaces and just mutters that "this time" closing the case is enough. "So what happens next time?" Doggett wonders dully. And we fade out.

Next time: Burt Reynolds, Moronica, Scully and Las Vegas. Sounds like a party to me.

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X-Files

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