Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now!

Doggett enters the interrogation room. "That was me changing my theory," Moronica announces. "What if a man of profound faith, a Catholic, was incapable of contrition?" she asks. "As in, he couldn't admit his own sins?" Scully asks. "Or even that he had a sinful side to him. As we all do," Moronica intones. She thinks that Meat Loaf is so terrified of his "sinful side" that he's actually manifesting a second personality. Mmmkay. Whatever. Doggett points out that this doesn't explain the DNA situation. "It would if he physically became that other personality," Moronica says. Doggett makes a Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde crack as Scully affects Bored Face Number 567,345. Moronica insists that there's a precedent "in the Catholic canon." Transubstantiation. "You mean water into wine?" Scully asks. Moronica nods, adding that in Communion, the wafer becomes the flesh of Jesus. The sixteen Catholic priests and three nuns still watching this show all groan. Moronica? The water into wine? The wafer into flesh? That's, like, a miracle. It's not something that happens because someone's got mental problems, or because it's, you know, kernifty. It's like saying that...well, I don't know. I haven't been to church in a long time. But it's a really bad metaphor and a giant logical leap and Mulder would have had an actual theory other than just, "Um, God does it, so why can't we?" "[Moronica], I've slept through my share of Sunday school, but I've never heard the one about a guy becoming another guy," Doggett drawls. Yeah, what he said. Moronica snips that it's the "only theory that makes sense." Scully is all, whaaaaatever. Doggett just wonders how one goes about catching a killer who's living inside an innocent man. That is a conundrum.

Meat Loaf's primping in the bathroom, and he looks up to see another message from BOB II. It says, "She Is Me." Nah. Actually, it says, "Kill Her. Also, I'd Like Some Ice Cream." Meat Loaf makes a pathetic face, and then BOB II appears and decks him. Man, Meat Loaf, you have to stop beating yourself up about this. Hee. See what I did there? Shut up, I wrote about insurance all day today. Eventually, Meat Loaf cracks his head on the side of the sink and falls onto the ground. Jane must have heard the hoo-ha, because she sticks her head in the bathroom. Without knocking. Again. Maybe you should kill her, Meat. Can I call you Meat? What about Mr. Loaf? She gasps when she sees him on the ground and, saying that she's going to fix him right up, goes to the medicine cabinet to fetch...you know, whatever. When she closes the mirrored cabinet, though, guess who's standing behind her? BOB II. She squeals.

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