Hallway. Doggett tells the girls that he ran Crispy's ID and it turns out that he fed them a fake name. "Well, then, who is he?" Scully asks. Doggett has an idea, he says, "but you're not going to believe it." Scully's like, hit me. "I think that how he got in here and the reason he knows what he knows is because that man is Mulder," Doggett just blurts out with no preamble. Scully thinks about this for half a second and then snorts with laughter. Then she realizes that he's not actually joking. She stares at him. Then she starts laughing again. "That's ridiculous! It's absurd!" she snorts. "Seriously," the Mulder action figure pipes up. "Have you seen me? I'm gorgeous. They'd never disfigure my pretty, pretty face." Doggett just looks at her, not unkindly. "Is it?" he asks. "What is true and what we want to be true aren't always the same." Staring. Staring. Scully is sure it's not Mulder. "I hope you prove me wrong," Doggett says, looking past her shoulder and into the morgue, where Crispy has sat up. He's watching them talk.
More Flashbacks of Agony, which conclude with one of the Doctors of Evil ripping off his mask. We don't get to see his face, but Crispy winces at the memory. And now, for the weirdest sexy scene ever. Scully holds Crispy's arm very, very carefully (just in case he is, in fact, the hot guy she used to work with) and draws some blood. He stares at her intently. She looks at his chin and asks to examine his "dental work." Crispy half-smiles. "You're not going to tell me I need braces, are you?" he chuckles. She blanches. Because Mulder? Funny. Scully gets a hold of herself after a moment and gently peers inside Crispy's mouth. This entire scene is very intimate; it's shot in extreme close-up and Scully's near enough to kiss Crispy. The idea that, under all that gunk, this person could actually be Mulder makes it all sort of...sexy. I swear to God. And the lighting is great. Scully looks in Crispy's eyes with the little eye doctor flashlight thing. "Are you going to help me?" Crispy rasps, huskily. "I don't know how I can," she mutters, not looking at him. "Help me make them pay for this," Crispy asks. Scully looks at her feet. "You refer to them as if I know them," she whispers. "As if I know where they are." Crispy peers at her intently. "They did terrible things to you, too. When you were abducted." Scully nods and feels the lymph nodes under his chin. She tells him that she knows the name he gave Doggett was false. "What is [your real name]?" she asks. "I can't say," Crispy tells her. She moves down to feel the lymph nodes around his breastbone. She checks inside his ears. They're practically kissing. He murmurs that "people" at the FBI would kill him if they found out he was there. "The same people who would kill Mulder," he says. Almost kissing. Almost kissing. Scully looks at her shoes. "You can put your clothes on now," she tells him. This scene is really effective. Because if this guy actually is Mulder? Dude. "I'm asking for your help," Crispy tells her. "But I might be able to help you." Scully asks how. "You're looking for answers, too," Crispy reminds her. Cut to a close shot of Scully's face. Mulder -- normal, non-Crispy Mulder -- is reflected in her eye. "We're both looking for answers," Normal Mulder says from inside her eyeball. Scully looks utterly shocked and snaps her eyes shut. We zoom out. She shakes her head a little bit, then covers the offending eye. She stares at him. He stares back. Then she turns away and walks off and out into the hallway. Yowza.