Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+

At this point, Moronica sneaks in the room and offers to take William from Scully. Just for the moment; not, like, forever. "No, please," Crispy says, "May I? I want to hold him." William pats Scully's face. That baby is really, really cute. "Mr. Miller?" Moronica begins. "No, it's important I do this. I want to hold him. For Mulder," Crispy says, as Mark Snow turns on "Theme Song [Version 873.3: Mulder Might Be Disfigured, Dude!]." Scully stares into Crispy's crispy face. The baby coos at her as she hands him over. William reclines calmly in Crispy's arms and smiles. Scully stares. I think she thinks it might really be Mulder. "He's so beautiful," Crispy says. Moronica's eyes are huge. Scully is about ready to grab Moronica and pull her into the bathroom and turn on the water so they can discuss in horrified tones the fact that Scully's boyfriend is back and he looks like ass, and it's not like Scully cares, but how stupid was she not to have had plenty of sex with him back when he was still all good-looking?

The theme song burbles us on over into the Skinman's office. Doggett trots inside and flings himself familiarly on the sofa. "Is that my blue shirt?" he asks. "This is my blue shirt, baby," Skinner says. "I think it's mine," Doggett tells him. "Why don't we take it off and have a look?" Skinner wonders. And then...er, sorry. Ahem. Doggett's got the advance info on Crispy's DNA test. The blood type fits Mulder's. Skinner wisely points out that the guy is way smaller than Mulder. Doggett counters this by saying that all the shit the Evil Doctors of Evil and Evil pulled on Crispy has prematurely aged him. He's, like, a hundred years old! Doggett says. Skinner's all, "I just know what they tell me, babycakes." But really he says, "He's not a hundred years old, is he? Not the way he attacked you." Skinner looks away from Doggett, pained by the thought of anyone hitting his sweetheart. (No, seriously. I didn't even have to fabricate the look of pain). Skinner wonders aloud what Crispy wants. "Revenge," Doggett says, explaining that Mulder directed him to the place where he could find the files on cases like his and information on the people who did it. Skinner nods, but points out that Mulder knows the X-Files "inside and out." He wonders why Mulder had to direct Crispy to anything. "Why not just tell him?" Doggett thinks about this. The phone rings. Skinner grunts affirmatively. When he hangs up, he just stares at his desk for a minute. The DNA results are in. "Where is this guy right now?" Skinner asks.

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