Episode Report Card
Jessica: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Doggett! Part Deux

So, they start walking. The agent -- it's Henchman #1, although I suspect it could be "Henchman #1" -- runs behind them. Henchman #1 runs like a little girl, very prance-y. Skinner lets Scully get ahead of him before he stops, turns around, and asks Henchman #1 if he can "talk to [him] a minute."

On top of a cliff somewhere, Sympathetic Classmate rides her bike. Like, right on the edge of a cliff. Yeah, I totally want to send my kids to this school. Scully struggles after her. I'm beginning to lose faith in Scully as a medical doctor; she's pregnant, right? And yet she's wandering around the desert, in the middle of the day, in dark pants, and a dark top, with no water, and no hat. And she's wearing, like, stiletto boots. That's brilliant. And at the very least, I think it's out of character for Skinner to not express some concern about her fumbling all over an area of the United States that gets hotter than the surface of the sun, in her condition, especially when just last week he told her he didn't want her to do anything that could endanger her pregnancy. Ah, logic is a harsh taskmistress.

Scully wanders the desert for, like, twelve minutes. And this awful "ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding" music tinkles irritatingly in the background. Bring back the EhhhhhhhhAHhhhhhhhhh music, because this tune is about to send me into a epileptic seizure.

At last, at last, Scully comes across Sympathetic Classmate's bike, tossed hastily onto the ground, near a piece of rope. No fool Scully, she tugs on the ropes, and lo and behold, it's a trapdoor (in the SURFACE OF THE EARTH), leading to what looks like some kind of bomb shelter type structure. I know it's fruitless even to ask, but if Sympathetic Classmate is so resourceful as to build or find this bomb shelter type place IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, why is she so stupid as to not bring her bike down into the shelter with her? Sweet fancy Moses.

Scully's hair looks fantastic, especially considering the fact that she's been wandering the desert for six hours. She pokes her head into the bomb shelter, and, seeing nothing, has to actually climb inside. Where, of course, she finds Sympathetic Classmate with Gibson, who brats that Scully "shouldn't have come." Scully huffs and puffs. Take a load off, Dana.

Commercial. At last, sweet relief. Hello, Orlando Jones. I wish you were on The X-Files.

Scully tells Gibson that she wants to protect him, and that she knows he knows it's the truth. "I know you know my thoughts," she reminds everyone. Gibson says something that I don't catch, because my phone rings, and I have to talk to my old college roommate about the big USC/UCLA game later today (Go Bruins!), and I'm too lazy to rewind. I'm pretty sure he said something along the lines of, "The aliens took Mulder and now they're coming for me." Scully tells him that the aliens want him because "he's a special boy." Sympathetic Classmate signs and speaks at the same time, telling Gibson that she didn't know anyone was following her. Because, of course, someone who can't hear and who is, basically, running away, would not, oh, I don't know, be extra sure to LOOK AROUND at regular intervals. Gibson tells Scully that Thea (formerly Sympathetic Classmate) is the only person at the School in the Middle of Nowhere who "knows" his secret, and that she's afraid for him. Whatever. Scully expositions that Thea is right to be afraid, because they "don't know who to trust." I thought The X-Files motto was "Trust No One," which would give you a good clue, Dana, but, for the twelfth time in four minutes, WHATEVER.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP