X-Files

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Doggett! Part Deux

Inside the school, an anonymous agent is listening to the radio requests for Scully, as Henchman #1 walks in. Ahem, that's "Henchman #1." Of course, when the agent turns around, Henchman #1 has become Scully, er, "Scully." The agent radios that he's found her. Conveniently for all involved, especially the writer of this episode, Scully walks right up to Doggett and Skinner at that exact moment. Dum dum dum DUUUUUM!

Doggett establishes that "Scully" is in the dorm with the now obviously doomed agent, and Scully shouts that they need to "hold her!" Everyone embraces. No, not like that. She scurries toward the dorms; Doggett and Skinner hot on her heels.

In the dorms, "Scully" has Doomed Agent in a chokehold and is, basically, killing him with her bare hands. Doggett, Skinner and the actual Scully burst into the room. At Scully's extremely menacing "hey!" Alien Bounty Hunter Scully drops the chalupa and lopes through the crowded room away from her twin. Scully goes after herself...you know what I mean. Why am I always recapping shit with evil identical twin mayhem? And I thought my syntax got muddy in that episode of Buffy I recapped a few weeks ago. Oy. Anyway, much chasing ensues, and the ding ding ding ding ding ding music returns, much to my horror.

Chase. Chase. Chase Chase Chase. Eventually, Scully finds herself in front of a mirror. She stares are her reflection for a moment before she realizes that it is, in fact, just a reflection. Henchman #1 comes running around the corner of the same wall that ABH Scully just disappeared behind. For some reason, everyone just accepts that this actually IS Henchman #1 and not the Alien Bounty Hunter, transformed from "Scully" into "Henchman #1," which, I hate to say, is not a mistake that Agent Mulder would ever have made. At the sight of Henchman #1, Scully, Doggett and Skinner just give up on the whole Alien Bounty Hunter hunting thing, and go tend to the poor Doomed Agent, who is lying on the floor, struggling to breathe. Naturally, he freaks out when Scully comes to tend to his wounds, since he thinks she is the person responsible for inflicting them. I guess a lightbulb goes on over Scully's head as she tells Doggett that the Alien Bounty Hunter is "someone in this room," and they all look around, impotently. Sympathetic Classmate -- who, somehow, is back in the schoolroom and no longer in her bomb shelter clubhouse -- sees blood dripping from the hands of Henchman #1 (and I'm not even going to go into the fact that it actually doesn't make sense that the blood would not disappear along with the body it came with, when the ABH shapeshifted), and books out of the classroom. No one notices. This school sucks.

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X-Files

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