X-Files

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Doggett! Part Deux

Oh goody, it's nasty Alien Abduction Experimentation Time! This time, Mulder, cheeks still all stretched out, just opens his eyes with a start. That wasn't nearly as bad as last week's buzz saw incident.

Down in the bomb shelter, Gibson Praise opens his eyes. "Mulder!" he hisses, dramatically.

Why is the episode only halfway done? I think I might cry.

Doomed Agent is loaded into an ambulance. Doggett stares balefully after him. Scully, behind him, sneaks off to her sporty SUV, boobs a-bouncing. She gets in the car, just as Skinner -- or IS HE? -- comes up to her and asks where she's going. She locks the door, obviously, thinking he's actually Alien Bounty Hunter Skinner. Okay, this has been discussed in the forums, and I have to mention it. First of all, prior to this episode, Alien Bounty Hunter guy did not speak -- right? I'm admitting that I may be wrong. At any rate, if he did speak, he avoided doing so at all cost, so the fact that Skinner is talking away a mile a minute here ought to be a very clear sign that he is, in fact, Really Skinner. Second -- as anyone who's ever watched television, or a movie, ever, knows -- it's very easy to prove that you are who you say you are: just start telling whomever you want to convince all kinds of things that only you could know. Der. Scully begins frantically searching for the car keys. Skinner takes them out of his pocket and waves them in her face. "Get out of the car," he says. I have to say, I'm with Skinner here; Scully is acting way more like an ABH (I got sick of typing out the entire phrase, okay?) in this scene than he is -- silent, stone-faced, ignoring human contact in general. She looks at him fearfully. This is so contrived. Scully scrambles out of the passenger side of the Jeep, pulls her gun and points it at Skinner. "Who are you?" she asks. Skinner pulls his own gun. "Who am I?" he asks. Oh, jeez. Turn around. You turn around. Scully threatens to kill Skinner with "a kill shot to the back of the neck." Way to exposit that plot point. Skinner insists, through gritted teeth, that he is who he looks like. Stand off. Gun point. Yada. I have a sandwich. Skinner turns around, and tells Scully he can "prove" that he's who he claims to be. "I know your secret, who else knows it?" he asks. Scully asks him to tell her what "the secret" is. "You tell me," Skinner retorts. "How do I know it's you?" God, next time, you two, have a code word, or something. For example, "plot contrivance." That's a good one. Suddenly, Skinner goes all Bruce Lee, and spins around and grabs the gun out of Scully's hand. "I don't like pointing guns at pregnant women," he spits. I do. Nothing more satisfying than a long Sunday afternoon at the park, pulling my gun on pregnant women. Ah, the memories. Scully purses her lips and takes her gun back. I guess they believe each other now, although I don't know why, really. I mean, I know why she believes him, but Scully has done nothing to -- wait, am I trying to appoint reason to The X-Files at this point in the game? Dude, sorry. Anyway, Skinner comments that this has all gone too far and blah bling bladdedy blah, Scully thinks it hasn't gone far enough. She needs the car keys. Skinner says that she's ruining her life, that she's got too much at stake to risk it all right now. Scully's eyes fill with tears and she says that she can't accept the fact that she's just never going to see Mulder again. Sniff. Never mind me. Skinner says, gently, that Mulder could come walking out of the darkness at any moment. Scully sighs that they have one last chance, with Gibson, and they have to take it. Meaningful look, meaningful look, sigh, tear, Skinner tells Scully he'll drive. Because, you know, her little feet don't touch the pedals.

As Skinner and Scully drive off, Sympathetic Classmate scampers from between two cars and stares after them.

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