MONDO EXTRAS

Joe R: So, yeah, speaking of Johnny Knoxville stealing Andy Dick's rightful spot in the pre-show video.
Miss Alli: Wow, is Johnny Knoxville the new Andy Dick? That's a theory.
Joe R: If it means he starts making out with dudes in exchange for drugs? I can live in that world.
Miss Alli: He's the Andy Dick for a new millennium. Not that I'm sure the new millennium needs an Andy Dick. Or that the last one did.
Joe R: Is Sarah Silverman one of those make-up-songs-as-I-go comedians? Because she's got the guitar here.
Miss Alli: Okay, so she's taking the stage, and...Jack Nicholson? Is there? At the MTV Movie Awards? Jack Nicholson?
Joe R: Somewhere, Billy Crystal weeps and weeps.
Miss Alli: Sarah looks nice, though. I don't think Jimmy Kimmel bought her that dress, unless, when she turns around, you see that the ass is cut out of it.
Joe R: No, probably not. I love Gerard Butler in the audience trying to shake off the 300 gay joke.
Miss Alli: I know. Because 300 IS NOT GAY!
Joe R: At all! It does manage to be both gay AND homophobic, though, so maybe that's what Gerard is talking about.
Miss Alli: There you go. You know, Sam Jackson kinda looks pissed. And bored. And mean.
Joe R: Seriously. And no, Sarah Silverman, I will not Google your obscure balls jokes.
Miss Alli: Can't go without an early balls joke.
Joe R: And, okay, I totally Googled it, because I am a liar.
Miss Alli: You're a gross boy.
Joe R: The balls of Paris Hilton hangers-on are famous now. That's a new one.
Miss Alli: Sarah's Lindsay Lohan material needs work. I think maybe Jimmy Kimmel DID give her this part.
Joe R: I feel like nobody's really been able to hit the exact right Lohan joke so far tonight. I know this because I watched the pre-show at the expense of watching the New Hampshire Democratic Debate. So that goes in the column with the other ways in which MTV is destroying the fabric of this country.

Miss Alli: Wow, and there's poor Paris Hilton. You know, at the sound of all these jokes about girl parts, Jack Nicholson looks way too hungry.
Joe R: Amanda Bynes looks utterly lost.
Miss Alli: She really does. She's like, "Am I too young to be here? Or too old to be here? Would Jennie Garth approve?" I'm wondering: Should a host of a show look as much like she hates it as Sarah Silverman does?
Joe R: If it's the MTV Movie Awards? Unless they're getting Mike the Miz to host, I think self-hatred is the only way to go.
Miss Alli: Oh my God, those poor old people in the "choir" singing Sarah Silverman's dirty words. That was the saddest thing I've ever seen. Their poor grandchildren. Their poor ancestors.
Joe R: And...that was it? Just old people saying swears? Are old people saying swears the new puppets saying swears? Oh, dude, Ioan Gruffud is so, SO drunk.
Miss Alli: Jessica Alba is dressed like a bowling pin. Chiklis is like, "I am practically Gandolfini, and I would BE Gandolfini if I weren't on basic cable, so EAT IT."
Joe R: Jessica should donate half of her tan to Chris Evans. And obviously, Jack is going to win Best Villain. He showed up.
Miss Alli: Don't be too sure. I think that one guy really brought some depth to Saw III. He was kind of the emotional touchstone.
Joe R: I only hope Meryl Streep doesn't win, because then she'd have to feel dirty.
Miss Alli: I just watched that movie again the other day. It was still the most fucked-up gender thing ever. Hey, Nicholson won! Shocker!