I'm considering launching a feud against Andy Rooney. You guys got my back, right?

Once again, we start out in Shanghai, which according to Phil has more than eighteen million people and is "the largest commercial and financial hub in mainland China." The eleventh Pit Stop, of course, was the Riverside Promenade, which apparently is "newly minted." That's surprising; it looks more like it would taste of concrete. We get to hear a replay of Caite shrieking over their win at the end of the last leg, deafening every river porpoise in the Yangtze (even though they're standing next to the Huangpu), as a reminder that they arrived first, and so will be leaving first, at 2:37 AM. Seriously? That's just mean. The good news is they're heading back to the United States. I mean that's good news for them, not for the United States. Their final destination city is "San Francisco, California." One hears "San Francisco" by itself so often that hearing "California" after it sounds weird. After flying six thousand miles, they'll have to get to "Battery Godfrey." This is not to be confused with "Battery Gottfried," a little-known legal term referring to the act of beating up Gilbert Gottfried, which is not actually a crime. Instead, it's a "former military outpost overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. Here, their next clue awaits." Way to change up the phraseology in the final hour there, Phil. The models interview about how "freaking incredible" it is to be in the final three, and Brent concludes, "Somebody's gotta lose, somebody's gotta win, and we wanna freakin' win." Caite agrees with this, which will be one of the few times this episode that they agree on anything. In the cab, Brent says it's been a blast, but they're looking forward to getting back to the U.S.

Jet and Cord are leaving at 3:11 AM, which means they weren't nearly as close behind the models as we were led to believe last week. I guess we were supposed to think one team went upstream and the other went down at almost the same time, and somehow they arrived 34 minutes apart, even with a seven-foot-nine human whose name means "The Mast" guiding them in. Cord's hoping this might be the first championship they can say they won together, with his brother and his best friend. Aw. I'm sure he's not the only one.

Brent and Caite get to the airport, and find the United counter closed -- until 10:45 the next morning. See? Mean! They agree that they want to be first in line, and when the Cowboys arrive, Brent jokingly says the correct window is way down at the other end. The terminal almost looks big enough that they wouldn't get back until after 11:00 if they believed him.