Apprentice

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | 635 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Who's the Biggest Loser?

Shots of New York City, and then the women walk into their room, which they think is really nice. Joan volunteers to be the first project manager, since she's the oldest. Everyone seems to be relieved. Joan tells the camera later that she's the project manager because she's "the only one in there without a tampon in her pocketbook." Because we all know that if you're carrying tampons, you are not capable of leading anyone anywhere. A 75-year-old crazy person, however, is totally capable. She says they deferred to her, which they sort of did. Joan doesn't want to waste time on choosing a team name, but Annie would like to make a case for "Phoenix," since they're rising from the ashes of last year's terrible women's team. Joan says, "The Winners." How original. Claudia suggest "The Ballbusters." Annie suggests "Athena," the goddess of war and wisdom. She thinks they're going to be more disciplined than the boys. Joan tells the camera that these women are going to work together with "no backstabbing." I am going out on a limb to guess that's foreshadowing.

In the men's room, Dice Clay is complaining about the lack of bagels and coffee. Scott tells the camera that Dice Clay isn't focused at all. They want to name the team first, and then choose a leader. Scott pulls out a notebook and volunteers to be secretary. Tom suggests "Triumph." Dennis says "VIP Enterprise," but the others giggle that it sounds like an escort service. "The Money-getters" and "Team FUBAR" are suggested. Scott interviews later that this is the most dysfunctional group ever, so coming up with a team name is impossible. Dice Clay says they're all "Kings of the Universe," and then someone acronyms it as "KOTU," which is the acronym for that. How stupid. Herschel says they should probably choose a project manager first, and that tiny bit of genius is what leads Scott to say Herschel just proved he should be the leader. Everyone agrees. Or, I should say, no one disagrees because Dennis clearly does not agree. Later, in his camera interview, he says he doesn't know why Herschel is project manager, since he didn't have "no vote" in it. He blames it on Scott and Clint, and says Herschel doesn't have any leadership skills and "he remind me of a 15-year-old kid." Dennis leaves the table as Clint tells Herschel he is the PM on the task and will name the team. Herschel tells us he's not just a football player and then he names the team "KOTU" (pronounced "koe-too"), saying, "KOTU is gods." Tom likes it, though he confesses to the camera it's sort of goofy, but grows on you, especially if you say it a lot. So he says it a lot, and say it's sort of like a Lord of the Rings character, like Gollum, which he would have preferred.

Apprentice

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