Time for a video clip about Trace and his charity, the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network, in which we see him picnicking with the family. Trace's wife Rhonda is seen making their six-year-old a separate pizza, because that's what the other kids are having (presumably with all sorts of poisonous glutens and dairy items and cooked in an oven that once had food in it), and she talks about how the little girl is literally seven minutes from death at any moment if she comes in contact with a peanut atom. It's very moving and absolutely impossible to make fun of. Moving on.
Trump and the Trumplets stand to one side of the stage like the hosts of Saturday Night Live introducing the musical guest. Which, since Trace is singing his new number one single, "You're Gonna Miss This," is more or less what's happening. Sing, Trace, sing! Actually, Trace, I'm not sure I will miss writing about this every Thursday. I'll get back to you when The Office comes back. Before the commercials, there's another plug for Trace's charity, in the form of telling us we can download the song on iTunes and the proceeds will go to his charity. What, Piers doesn't get to sing for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund? What a gyp.
We're back. Blimey, check out Piers's sourpussed family in the studio audience! Trump introduces the clip about Piers's charity, which shows Piers visiting the Center for the Intrepid in San Antonio, and meeting the center's director and some veterans with pretty grievous wounds. He meets with a guy with no legs and no eyesight, who says he would go back if he could. "Unfinished business," the man says. Well, at least he's not too maimed to hold a grudge. Kidding! Kidding, you guys. Damn, these charities are comedy killers.
Back from that, Trump and Piers stand next to some of those same people, in the studio in dress uniform to accept a standing ovation. Trump steps on the applause to ask the veterans how they feel about Piers, and they say they support him, although one of them qualifies it by saying he doesn't know Piers that well. Trump compliments their courage, and calls for another round of applause. Trace also comes over, hat in hand, to shake each of their hands, and another standing ovation takes us all the way to the next commercial. I don't know what to say without seeming jingoistic or flip, so I'll just say that if I were in that studio, I'd be on my feet too.