Apprentice: Martha

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 0 USERS: N/A
YOU GRADE IT
Who Let The Jim Out?

I want to thank everyone who has emailed me to tell me how transforming my vinaigrette recipe has been for you. The fact that you are now discovering how easy it is to eschew bottled junk in favor of an easy-peasy dressing of your own making means my work here on Earth is almost done. It will not truly be done until everyone has made Roasted Cauliflower at least once. Oh, and when I have Hateful Jim's head on a platter with an apple stuffed in his mouth. Also, thank all of you who told me that the offensive "Asian" ditty that Bethenny chimed out with was "Turning Japanese." Keep writing, keep watching, keep reading, and, by all means, keep drinking! Yours in the Bottlehood (any Chi Psis out there?), Keckler.

Now, over the last five weeks, I have given you guys a lot to drink. This morning, after having consumed several to many Raspberry-Lime-Tamarind cocktails (damn, those were good -- like candy!) invented and poured by The Orbit Room's bartender last night, my head seems to need something restorative before I can finish my recap and move on to other duties.

Jeeves's secret to Bertie Wooster's incessant hangovers was the reason he was engaged in the first place, but Wodehouse guarded that secret as fiercely as Jeeves himself did. Some people think that a "Prairie Oyster" is the answer, but considering it doesn't even have alcohol in it -- and I have reason to believe that cognac was one of Jeeves's secret ingredients -- I doubt it. So, my rendition of Jeeves's miracle hangover cure:

Keckler's Hair of the Dog
1 egg yolk*
4 oz. tomato juice
Balsamic vinegar
1 dash Worcestershire sauce
2 dashes Tabasco sauce
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon finely minced shallot or red onion 1 pinch of salt
2 pinches black pepper
1 pinch red pepper flakes
1 oz. cognac

The Shake:
Crack the egg over a bowl and carefully separate the yolk from the white by passing the yolk back and forth between the two shell halves and letting the egg white drop into the bowl below. Or, crack the egg and strain the egg whites out through your fingers while holding the whole yolk in the palm of your hand. Throw out the whites or reserve them for facials or meringues. It's your choice.

Add the yolk to a pitcher and whisk in the tomato juice, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, olive oil, shallot, and seasonings. Grab an ice pack for your head, add the cognac to a glass, and top off the glass with the contents of the pitcher. If made correctly, you will have the following reaction: "It felt as if someone had touched off a bomb inside the old bean and was strolling down my throat with a lighted torch." Carry on, Jeeves.

Apprentice: Martha