"Costa Rica really is magical," Brad tells us, as we watch a helicopter fly across the pristine beauty of the country, while Brad tells us again about how much he's changed, and how vulnerable he is, and how he hopes Costa Rica provides some answers, which is unfair pressure on Costa Rica.
And then we get lots of crappy video footage of the women saying "Costa Rica!" in stereotypical Alex Trebek accents, and someone wants to get "down and dirty" with Brad in the jungle, and someone says "luscious greenery" when I hope they really meant "lush greenery." The women ooh and ahh at a volcano that unfortunately does not erupt and bury them all in a sea of lava.
The women reunite with Brad at the hotel. "He looked well rested and really excited to be here," says someone, which is just overwhelming in its enthusiasm. We hear about all the amenities of the hotel, like its infinity pool overlooking the volcano. "It just feels so organic," says Ashley H., which is in the running for most eyepoke-deserving statement I've heard this season. Remind me to ask the travel agent to make sure our hotel feels "organic" on our next vacation.
And we get to the date card right away for Chantal O. "Close your eyes, hold on tight, love is in the air tonight," it reads, and she's thrilled. Meanwhile, Michelle tells us that she's not sure why Chantal's name was on the date card, although she does hope that Chantal gets attacked by monkeys. "Or apes." But not both, because that would be cruel.
Chantal gets ready for her date, and she tells us that she's freaking out because of how she melted down last time or whatever. I don't really remember because I use a Men in Black-esque memory wipe after every episode. "I feel like Brad is doubting everything and questioning how he feels about me," she says.
I cannot express in words how tired I am of the Bachelor always explaining how "excited" he is for the woman to see the date that's been prepared.
"It's really hard for her to watch me with the other ladies," says Brad, so tonight is all about Chantal, like yeah, that's how dates work.
Back at the hotel, Michelle talks poison about Chantal and how she really doesn't think Chantal will be coming back tonight. Since Chantal is eminently more likable and fun than Michelle, I can see why Michelle would think that a connection with Chantal spells bad news for her, but her failure to acknowledge the fact that Brad likes her makes me wonder if she didn't actually hire, like, jungle blowgun assassins to take Chantal out.