What have I done today to make me feel proud? Well, I resisted the urge to steal Potes's opening gag. Oh, wait, no I didn't. Goddammit, I SUCK!

In a black-and-white flashback, Koli casts his lone yet binding vote for Victoria's eviction. And then we're in real time, Big Brother-style, as instead of calling it a night, Sami calls everyone else in. O'Neal hugs Sunshine, happy to see his daughter's still there. Once they're all assembled, Sami reminds them of their visit to the Olympic Training Center and "America's fittest people. This week, you're gong to do the opposite. You're going to train with some of the most unfit." Yes, they're off to Texas, home state of five of America's ten fattest cities. That's not me saying that, it's the show, and it'll be said several more times. The Losers are all very excited about getting to go to Texas. Bob and Jillian will be coming along as well, and Sami tells them to pack their bags and their cowboy hats, and any other Texan stereotypes they can think of.

Amazing Race-style B-roll segues into the Losers meeting Sami in the middle of what looks like a herd of cattle statues in Dallas's Pioneer Park. No wonder Texans gained weight, if all the cattle turned to stone. You don't get nearly as much exercise chasing those around. Sami gives them a little speech about how everything's big in Texas, up to and including the people. In fact, she projects that 75% of the state's population will soon be overweight or obese. That's scary, but if any state has the room for it...Now, though. It's the Losers' job to fix it, which seems like a tall order. But they'll start by making the rounds of Texas radio stations to recruit listeners into joining them in a 5K run.

Sam and Koli hit KRLD 1080. Rock that AM dial! Sunshine and O'Neal are at KVRK 89.7, with Ashley and Michael and Daris at 96.3 KSCS, so at least they get to go FM. Sam and Koli field a call about how they plan to deal with temptation when they return, and discuss not wanting to go back to the way they were. O'Neal and Sunshine talk about the 5K that'll start from the Cotton Bowl, with O'Neal talking about starting with small steps. Michael tells the DJ that he started out at 526 pounds, and the DJ is impressed at how much he's lost thus far. Michael accepts his praise and exhorts tubby Texas to coming out to join them for the race. Then all three stations are seen taking calls, saying the first 35 callers will get to be part of the 5K run. The phone lines appear to light up, which is pretty gratifying to the Losers. I bet it is for the producers as well. And then Jillian takes Sunshine and Ashley to Walgreens for some product placement that's so blatant I feel like I should zap it like any other commercial.