MONDO EXTRAS

I'll Have A Shoe Christmas Without You

by Mr. Sobell December 15, 2006 10:00 PM

I'm hoping that God has a sense of humor about these things. Just in case he doesn't, I better go write a check to help some orphans or something. Be right back.

So while I was away, Ma Lowe dropped dead -- just as Rob Lowe's prophecy in the opening narration foretold! She passed away right after the Christmas party where she got to remind her son what a colossal drip he turned out to be. So there's no unresolved issues between them, I guess. Wonder how her reception from God at the Pearly Gates went? Probably all right, up until the point when Ma Lowe told God that sure, he was a successful Supreme Being and all, but did He ever stop and take the time to appreciate all the little things? After about five minutes of that, I imagine God probably pawned her off on one of the lesser saints and then spent the rest of the afternoon afflicting people who vaguely looked like her with boils. "She lives on within us, Robert," well-meaning Dalton tells Rob Lowe as the funeral's breaking up. Maybe it's just me, but Rob Lowe's expression kind of is saying, "Oh no -- really?" Nah, I'm sure he's really broken up about it.

It's Christmas Eve, and Nathan is scrounging for aluminum cans with the Dalton, long-suffering friend to one and all. Dalton reminds Nathan and the rest of us of that time he said that no one close to him had ever died -- that was a fib, as it turned out, since his wife passed away 11 years ago. "Why'd you lie?" Nathan asks. Because he's an adult? No, actually, Dalton didn't say anything because it hurts to talk about it. But "I know the pain won't go away if you don't talk about it," he helpfully adds. So, there's your successful strategy for dealing with grief, folks -- wall it off into a tiny little part of your soul, and only let it out at inappropriate times. Works. Like. A. Charm. Anyhow, Nathan stumbles upon a whole mess of cans. Because Dalton was spotted in an earlier scene, loading a sackful of aluminum cans into the trunk of his car, it's sort of suggested that he tossed litter all around the quaint downtown area just to help Nathan in his quest to earn enough refund money to buy his mom a Christmas gift. Well, so long as he's not trying to trick farmers out of their land by using loopholes in federal environmental law, I suppose it's all right.

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