I'll Have A Shoe Christmas Without You
Later that morning, after stopping for a cup of coffee on his way to work, Rob Lowe is just about to get back into his Mercedes (Doesn't Buy American!), when a truck comes around the corner a little too fast and spills some cargo outside its back door. Why, it's a pair of shoes, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were Christmas shoes -- the magical tinkle of the soundtrack implies as much. And Rob Lowe takes a moment away from neglecting his daughter and bullying his wife to rejoin the workforce so that they can afford a house they don't need where he can park his non-American automobile to try and alert the truck driver to his horrible mistake. "Hey!" he shouts. "I can't hear you -- I am a truck," the truck answers back as it drives off into the distance. "Not my style," Rob Lowe sniffs, just to remind us that he's still something of a prick, and off he drives after the truck...
... and right into the path of a football thrown by Kimberly Williams, who is playing catch with her son in the street. As the football ricochets off of Rob Lowe's fancy German automotive machine, a look of murderous rage flashes across his face that is positively delightful and reminds us all what we've been missing ever since that West Wing gig condemned him to a lifetime of playing earnest do-gooder types. "Joe Montana," he snarls. "You wanna watch where you're throwing that?" Kimberly Williams cheerfully protests that she's just trying to teach her son how to throw a football, so that he can get an early start on that lifetime of playground taunts. "Fingers on the laces. A lot of wrist," Rob Lowe says, before driving off. Because football ding in his Mercedes door or not, Rob Lowe will be damned before he lets some little kid get taught to throw a football like a girl.