Previously: Whiney got a "job" and some "friends," even a commitment-phobic "boyfriend" with a douchebag wingman. Time for an episode about the wingman. Groan.

Adam (a.k.a. A-hole) and his girlfriend Allie head into a restaurant, where Whitney and Jay are waiting for them. Jay gives Whitney the scoop before they arrive: A-hole and Allie met in a bar, now they live together. There were probably some steps in between, but I wouldn't put it past these nitwits if there weren't. The others come in, and they sit down, boys on one side, girls on the other, just like a junior high school dance. Which is basically the dynamic of this entire show. Allie, a fellow Cali girl, asks Whitney how she likes New York. Whitney isn't all that enthusiastic. Because her idea of culture is frozen yogurt. Jay has to interject to remind Whitney that he makes her life worth living. Oh yeah! And A-hole notes that he had the same pull on Allie. Jay and A-hole give themselves a pat on the back for dickmatizing two such feeble minds.

Allie says she was instantly at-home in New York, perhaps because of her crazy modeling life. Jay asks her how she did at recent go-sees. She booked one of them in which she has to be naked, which I guess is supposed to be sassy and important. Then dubbed-over Whitney moves the conversation to tonight's theme: Allie is gone all the time. She jokes that Whitney and Jay better keep an eye on A-hole while she's gone. Except she really isn't joking, because I wouldn't trust that guy as far as I could throw him. He and Olivia are totally the Spencer and Heidi of this show. Except lamer and more derivative. At least Heidi and Spencer know they're acting like idiots and make the most of it.

Olivia and Nevan loll around Chelsea talking nonsense about investing in art. They're rich and intellectual, get it? I hate them both. Do I even have to recap their scenes? Basically Nevan has some ambiguous family drama that has driven him to need a job. And by job, I mean wasting other people's money on vanity projects like night clubs and art investment. But he can't even get that accomplished. Instead, he drinks all the time. And his world has crumbled in around him. Because he's too useless to just get a basic job and accomplish some stuff -- or at least present the image of such -- so that his parents will start supporting him again. Jesus, why are some people even breathing the same air as you and me?