Before anyone can call Whitney a dumb shit to her face, Diane herself gets on a mic and wishes everyone a happy holiday. She also announces that it's her birthday on New Year's Eve, which elicits a peal of laughter. Not sure what that was about... Back at the table, Olivia asks what Whitney is doing that evening. Whitney mentions the party at Smooth's (though she doesn't name check Smooth, which is a damn shame because Olivia and Nevan would have had a field day with that one). It's clearly very awkward between them since the Tamarama dramarama last week, and when Whitney ticks off all the people that will be at the party, Olivia snips, "All your friends!" To which Whitney shoots back, "Except for you!" Totally unsolicited, Olivia summons her sagest expression and advises, "Just don't get, like, overly drunk and, like, fall on your face." Whitney snarks, "Good tip, Olivia! I learn something new from you every day." Olivia is not amused. Their coworker laughs at this shit show, and Whitney giggles at herself for making a funny. I kind of like tipsy Whitney.
Down in Soho, A-hole harasses A-holette about kicking her ass in Scrabble by three points. I suspect the score was 3-0. She has her hair down, and who knew it would make her look more terrifyingly alien than before? Seriously, homegirl's face is pulled like she's had about four facelifts. A-hole dramatically starts writhing and scratching his head in his chair, so A-holette brings up that he's got a lot on his mind. He takes the opportunity to demonize Jay, saying that he has been asking if A-holette found an apartment yet. She claps onto the maneuver, hook, line, and sinker. Now that he's effectively set up the conversation so that it's everyone's fault but his own, A-hole concedes that Jay didn't get what he signed up for. Naturally, A-holette gets defensive, saying she'll leave if that's what he wants. She adds they could both use some space. He's all, "No, baby. I couldn't imagine living without you. I love you." I positively detest how he says that phrase. It makes my skin crawl. A-holette stares at him with her dead eyes. And Britney Spears' "Womanizah" starts playing. Subtle.
That night, Erin and Duncan enter the party at Smooth's loft. The biggest loft in the world, I might add! She and Whitney have decided that festive attire = holly laurels on their heads. Points for technical accuracy, I guess? Erin notes the club-like atmosphere, which includes -- and I am not kidding -- a friggin' velvet rope, servers carrying around trays of champagne, and an ice luge in addition to the aforementioned stripper poles. Who is this guy? Sami is also there, btw. As is JR. Whitney quickly spots him, and she and Jay brace themselves for drama. Erin hasn't noticed yet because she's smooching on Duncan. JR seems to spot them, though, and yells out, "Whoa!" As if he didn't already know of Duncan's existence and just get pushed aside by Erin last week? Let's not kid ourselves here, pal.