The Hills
The Hills

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Girls Night Out

Previously on The Hills: Whitney did well at her job and some broad named Jessica got totally dissed and dismissed. People's Revolution agreed to let Lauren help out during Fashion Week. Heidi reached out to Audrina, and Audrina promised Lauren she wasn't going to become friends with Heidi again. Jesus. Is this the fifth grade? Because that's the last time I remember trying to tell people who they could and could not be friends with based on some imaginary enemies list. And you know what? It didn't really pay off then either.

Heidi shows up at Audrina's "workplace" and they have lunch in the cafeteria. No one else is there eating, so either this is not at lunchtime or the food there really sucks or the producers cleared out the area so they wouldn't have to get releases signed. Or this isn't even the cafeteria where Audrina works. Or Audrina doesn't even have a job. Or Audrina doesn't even exist, and has been replaced by some sort of cyborg. You know, the sad thing is that out of all of those options, I think the last one makes the most sense. Anyway, Heidi keeps going on and on and fucking on about how she's glad they're talking again and how it was dumb that they got caught up in Lauren and Spencer's fight. Why would anyone want to be friends with Heidi? All she talks about is herself and her fake dramas and her stupid non-boyfriend/manager/promoter/pimp and the whole thing is so FUCKING BORING! It wouldn't even be fun to hang out with Heidi just to make fun of her behind her back. Do you realize what I'm saying? Me! Who loves shit-talking above all else, wouldn't even want to hang out with Heidi just to get material to talk shit about later. That's saying something. Anyway, Heidi eventually invites Audrina on a Girls' Night Out, which I thought she had last week with She-Pratt, but whatever. Audrina just kind of nods and looks like she might have just swallowed a bug from the fruit salad on her plate.

The title of this episode is annoying me because it's "Girls Night Out" and I feel like there should be an apostrophe in there somewhere, depending on if it's the night out for one girl or multiple girls, but either way: get with the punctuation, show.

Lauren shows up to help Whitney at People's Revolution. They're in the process of casting models for Fashion Week. Kelly recognizes Lauren and offers to let her help cast, like I'm so sure that some helper off the streets would be invited to give an opinion on anything, up to and including where they should order from for lunch, much less which models will walk the runway. Lauren and Whitney are rushing around trying to take and label Polaroids of all the potential models and put them up on a board. I wonder what the modeling industry will do now that Polaroid has stopped producing their film? Maybe get digital cameras like the rest of America? And photo printers? Anyway, Kelly totally makes Jessica, who already hates Whitney from the events of last week's episode, give up her desk. Jessica looks PISSED! Although she also seems like the type to have a sour look on her face all of the time, so who can tell? Jessica asks if Lauren can do some other grunt work and Kelly is like, "No, you can do that." And then totally blows her off. I'm glad I don't work in the fashion industry, where apparently it's okay to be a total bitch with impunity. Jessica just stares at Lauren. Jessica might want to consider going out for a cheeseburger because she is painfully thin and it's not a good look on her.

The Hills