ShePratt Lair. Heidi is still steaming the next morning. Steaming in velour sweats, though. Diminishes the gravitas a bit, no? Realizing she'll have no function if Heidi and Spencer break up, Steph changes tacks and points the finger at BS. Then she recalls some of her better zingers. Heidi won't be distracted, though, and is raging against Spencer for turning all of this on her run-in with Mr. Jack Cheese back in Colorado. Steph attempts to ameliorate Heidi's anger, but Heidi says that this was the last straw. Steph suggests a therapist -- I bet she has, like, six on retainer. Girlfriend's got issues. Also? Isn't couples' therapy what you do when you're too old to date and actually legally married, in essence to avoid the financial hassle of a divorce (amongst other things)? If you've still got your youth and a promising inroad to reality reunion shows, just cut loose already! At any rate, Heidi is skeptical that Spencer would even participate in his own recovery. Steph tells Heidi to lay down an ultimatum. Heidi thinks she's given Spencer enough chances.
People's Rev. Kelly confronts Lauren about what an effing joke Stephanie was. For an interview position, no less. Kelly mentions Steph's bad form, for starters. Lauren tries feebly, desperately to defend the little meth face, but there is no defending a Pratt. Basically Kelly tells Lauren that she'll give Steph a shot for the sheer entertainment value. But the first time she screws up, it's Lauren's ass. And then, I quote, "You might want to kiss her on the cheek when I put a gun to her back and make sure she stands up straight." I honestly have no idea what that means, but it's the most kick-ass visual I've come across in a long-time. Vintage Cutrone. Lauren's all, "Right on top of that, Rose!"
Elsewhere, Heidi meets Spencer on neutral ground. As usual, he is pissy from the get-go. They spar about who of them came home the night before -- neither. Heidi mentions Steph's therapy suggestion. I was right! Steph is, at least according to Spencer, seeing multiple therapists. Recapping this show is like shooting fish in a barrel, y'all. Heidi snaps back that she's in better shape than he is. Low! Heidi says she was mortified the night before that Spencer wouldn't even get up and talk to her. He says he didn't want to deal with the drama. Heidi goes for the cheap and easy argument, saying that BS was dressed for a night out on the streets, if you know what I mean.