She takes it in stride, opening up the discourse with a metaphor about stealing a pencil from the supermarket. Michael cough-interjects, but she frets that she specifically has to go over supply theft. Oscar notes that ethics is actually a whole course of study about concepts of good, whereas this is just corporate dogma to prevent employees from stealing supplies. Holly = flustered.

In his typically blowhard-ish, well-meaning way, Andy chips in, "Would you steal bread to feed your family? Boom!" He says he took "Intro to Philosophy"... twice. For his part, Dwight proves himself to be quite the Robin Shyamalan by saying the bread is poisoned. And, he adds with totally meta smugness, that it's not even "your real family" because "you've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter man." In summary, Andy is confused, Dwight is a jackass, Angela is dissociating herself from a situation of her own making, Jim is vaguely amused but generally ashamed to be there, Kevin is trying to make meaning from a series of words that have been strung together, and Michael is entirely too eager to participate.

Holly steers this hole-riddled ship back to shore, asking for real-life examples of an ethical dilemma. No one answers, so Michael promises no repercussions. He fondly reminisces about spending all the live-long workday watching Cookie monster sing "Chocolate Rain" on YouTube. Still, no one answers, so Michael grants complete immunity for anyone who participates. Holly doesn't think that's such a good idea, but that ball, she is a-rollin'...

Oscar admits he sometimes takes long lunches, which culture-savvy Michael deems siestas. Dwight calls Oscar a time thief who must be fired. Thus starts this episode's Dwight-Jim dynamic -- Dwight claiming with absolute certainty that he does not take a second of personal time at work, and Jim getting it in his wildly understimulated brain to prove him wrong. Michael wraps their little chat by calling Dwight "a thief of joy." Which profoundly clarifies his rapport with Grinchela.

Kelly confesses that she sometimes downloads pirated music onto her work computer. Michael praises her and keeps chugging. Holly tries to go back to that but is interrupted by Angela owning up to reporting Oscar to the INS. Turns out he's clean, but she doesn't regret it. Even Michael won't touch that one, so Meredith goes. She says she's been sleeping with a paper distributor for six years to get a discount on supplies and gift certificates to Outback Steakhouse. "Jackpot," says Jim. Michael can barely contain his amusement and freaked-out-ness for wreaking this havoc. Holly is a wee bit concerned by the prostitution aspect of the situation, but Meredith simply asks Holly if she's ever tried sirloin. Mmmmm-hmmm.