Michael watches Holly through his office blinds, having already decided that he already hates her. Apparently his HR enmity is transferable. Dwight quickly agrees for the sake of it, which Michael calls him on for once. Something they actually do agree on is how to haze her: sell her an elevator pass. I'm going to tell you right now that there is not going to be an elevator pass.
Phyllis is working the phones in search of antigravity, but is only coming up with antidepressants. Think she's going to need them?
Toby brings Holly into Michael's office to introduce them, and Michael is predictably a jerk to her. But she totally disarms him by not rising to it and even teasing Toby a little bit, and Michael is clearly already in the process of being won over. Leave it to Michael to see beyond superficial things like an HR job title and realize that she's hot.
Holly meets Creed, and asks what he does. He freezes, and the first padding of the episode is Creed in a TH, taking forever to remember the phrase "quality assurance" and still failing. Thanks, Creed! See you next year!
Dwight tells Holly that Kevin is "slow," and then THs that "Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked." And then there's the moment where Kevin meets Holly, and I wish I could say he's playing along with what Dwight told her, but he's just being Kevin. And because she talks to him really simply and kindly, he naturally thinks they're getting along great. Michael finally comes out to make some lame Michael-brand jokes about Holly's name, ask about her commute, and offer to make her a mix CD. Oh, Michael.
Pam presents Toby with a photo of the staff, sans Pam. She took the picture, y'see. Toby wants one with the two of them, and ends up running off to get a camera.
Meanwhile, Jim's on the phone with Ryan, telling him about the big sale he just made. Ryan is a giant ass about it, to the point of hanging up on him.
Michael calls Jim into his office to help him with Holly's mix tape that he's making to say, "Welcome to Scranton" and "I love you." Jim unwisely wades in to warn Michael that he's not in love yet, and he needs to take it slow. You know, like he did with Pam. More padding follows as Jim gives Michael work-romance advice at length. Not seasons-one-through-three length, mind you, but length nonetheless.