After commercials, Michael and Dwight make the announcement about their new positions. Dwight lets Michael talk, but he doesn't stop preening the entire time. Angela formally congratulates Dwight. Stanley asks why Dwight got the job, and Michael tries again to guilt him into a confession by saying it's because "Dwight never lies." Stanley asks how that qualifies Dwight to run a branch, and Michael contends that truthfulness is all it takes. Certainly we've seen that poise isn't too highly valued. Michael tries again with the guilts, asking Dwight to say a few words about loyalty. Dwight doesn't remotely take the bait, and blah blahs about taking the few staffers who'll stay in his employ "into the black with ferocity." Maybe he heard part of that whole tiger speech. Phyllis asks what Michael will do, and he says he'll be fine. He admits, under questioning, that he has no savings, but insists that he won't lose his condo. Pam interviews that she has an old, broken vacuum cleaner, and that if Dwight doesn't work out, it could be manager. That depends, Pam -- does it suck with forked tongue?! Phyllis: "Maybe I'll quit." Just "maybe"? Huh.

Angela excitedly meets with Dwight at the vending machine to celebrate what she thinks of as their success. Dwight says that he will be the one making a difference in the branch, but that Angela "can be in charge of the women." He leaves her to smirk at the possibilities, as though she isn't already in charge of the women. Hello? Head of the Party Planning Committee?

Stamford. Karen tells the camera to look at "how cute he is": her Call Of Duty avatar is behind Jim's, and Jim's has penned itself into a corner because Jim doesn't know how to turn his guy around; he's also "trying to shoot with a smoke grenade." She speaks up to tell him which keystrokes will get him facing out again; he follows her instructions, and her guy shoots his guy in the face. "Psychopath," says Jim to the camera, and Karen's triumphant grin fades a little, because the truth hurts.