Week 6, August 4. As Dwight hangs a sign reading "No weigh-in this week," Holly reads a memo from Corporate warning against extreme dieting techniques. Michael interrupts, lumbering in wearing what looks like a fat suit under a new business suit. He hangs up photos of Jabba the Hutt, the Sta-Puft Marshmallow man, etc. He THs that it's his sumo suit, half-inflated. "I'm so glad that I bought instead of renting." Back in the meeting, Michael starts in on a rant about body image and society, which kind of gets derailed when the crew calls him on doing "Michael Klump," his "making fun of fat people" character. Michael suddenly notices that Ryan is clean-shaven, and wonders why. Ryan doesn't answer. We all know the answer.

In a lecture, Pam's new buddy shows her a cartoon poking fun at their bearded professor. Except for the "fun" part. You, sir, are no Jim Halpert.

In the meeting, Michael wrings an insincere apology from Dwight to Phyllis, and reminds everyone that the contest is about being healthy. He makes Kelly stand on a chair so everyone can compliment her. Ryan stands up first, saying she's perfect in every way, and others chime in about her nails, her dress, her butt. Michael tells her she's beautiful, and hugs her while burying his face in her chest. Fortunately, Jim has a TH complaining about his summer that makes it all better.

Week 7, August 11. Michael shows Ryan his own clean-shaven face. "We are the goatee-less brothers," he says. Dwight's shame is visible behind his own nascent goatee. On the scale, Michael cuts off Oscar's questions about Holly's date, calling it "girl talk." The good news is they lost four pounds.

Jim's on the phone with Pam about their weekend plans, and he gets tired of Dwight's eavesdropping so they switch to IM. "What are you writing?" Dwight demands. Jim is just making plans to meet Pam halfway for lunch, but expertly facing Dwight down at the same time. That's what makes Jim Jim. Got that, floppy-haired, wiseass art student? Pam sends Jim a link to her "summer project," a portrait of Dwight. I think this makes him her favorite subject.

Holly comes into Michael's office with news. He cuts her off to ask about her date, who still hasn't called, even though she has two tickets to Counting Crows that night. So she's going to 1994? I wonder if she'd bring back a message for 24-year-old me, because there's some shit I could have stood knowing then. Michael somehow manages not to make a play to be her replacement date, even though it's clear to all of us at home that she's really wishing he would. Anyway, the reason she's here is to give the results of the contest: Utica beat them by eight pounds. I wonder if Karen hired Tony Gardner back. Michael asks, "Wait, can we have 'til the end of the day?" So they go out to the bullpen to tell everyone what they're thinking. Andy's got a plan -- he pins the thermostat on the top setting so everyone can sweat it out. How that's going to work when everyone's going to be sweating into the same clothes they'll be wearing onto the scale is beyond me. "Andy Bernard does not lose contests," he THs. "He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair."