Simple Life

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | 215 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Been Caught Stealing

Not Waylon tells us that, back in L.A., Paris and Nicole could get away with anything. The girls (and I do feel weird calling them "girls," since they are both technically adults, but with the way they act, I'm going with "girls") placing armfuls of clothing on a store counter. Not Waylon says that, in Altus, the girls are learning about consequences. They are? How, exactly? We flash back to the girls filling the milk bottles with water and getting fired. And then making the "Salty Weiner Bugers" sign and getting yelled at by Red. I guess that, by the strictest definition, those are consequences, but they aren't really going to make the girls stop pulling shit, are they? Not Waylon claims that Paris and Nicole are "on the road to learning responsibility -- unless, of course, they take a wrong turn." Paris and Nicole drive the truck down the street, and Paris nearly gets into an accident when she doesn't slow down enough to make a turn. (I guess they got the truck fixed.)

Paris and Nicole arrive at the Livestock Auction Barn. We learn that it's Day 16, and that this is a job interview. Kent Reading, the auctioneer, tells the girls that people bring their cattle to the barn, and the auctioneers sell them. The girls will help get the cattle ready to sell. Paris says they'd rather be the auctioneers, but Kent says that's his job. Paris asks if they can trade. I'd actually love to see Paris and Nicole trying to do an auction. You know they would totally screw it up and then maybe the farmers would, like, throw things at them and boo. And then Paris and Nicole would start crying and sink into the fetal position. Now that's a show I would watch.

Perhaps I should mention that Paris and Nicole are both wearing pink newsboy caps and pink camisoles, and that Paris has brought Tinkerbell with her. I know I usually bring my dog to job interviews. And after he's leapt around the office a few times and peed in the corner, I always get the job. Kent asks if the girls have any experience with cattle, and they tell him that they worked at a dairy farm. Kent asks how that went, and we see a flashback to Paris screeching and Nicole getting covered in poop. Good times. Nicole lies that it was "so much fun." She asks what they have to wear, and Kent replies, "Certainly not what you have on." Nicole throws her foot up on Kent's desk so that she's totally giving him a crotch shot, and asks if she should wear her current short shorts with boots up to the knee. Kent doesn't miss a beat and suggests that she wear jeans, and insists that she definitely doesn't want to wear the shoes she's got on. Nicole puts her other foot up on the desk and asks if Kent likes her shoes. Kent says he doesn't think she could run very fast in them. Those are some ugly shoes. They're green platform sandals with a really weird reverse heel. I don't know. Paris asks how many helpers they will have. Kent says that there are about twenty guys. Paris says that Nicole will like that, and Nicole asks if the guys are hot. Kent doesn't really know. Nicole asks if a lot of the guys are married. Kent says that most of them aren't. Nicole thinks that's "gorgeous." Kent asks if Nicole is interested now, and Nicole immediately says that she'll be there.

Simple Life