The Wire
The Wire

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: A | 1285 USERS: B
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"…the life of kings."
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Previously... on The Wire... you know what? If you're just bothering to get caught up now, there's not a hell of a lot I can offer you at this point.

We open on Carcetti who looks like he's just been told that he's spent the last four years walking around with his fly open. "But if we..." the mayor finally manages to say, before trailing off into silence. "Sigh," the mayor sighs, standing up from his desk to survey his audience -- Norman, that Weasely Chief of Staff who I will not miss when this show goes off the air -- not one bit, Daniels, Rawls, Pearlman, and Bond. "But how can..." the mayor continues. "Jesus Christ," Chief of Staff Weaselman properly concludes. "So this means, uh..." Carcetti adds, still struggling to use his big boy words. Five'll get you 10 someone just passed along the info to the mayor's office that Baltimore's serial killer epidemic is not as serious as first believed. Norman finally punctures the ongoing stupor by surmising: "So no one killed any homeless men." Circle gets the square. Daniels confirms that some of the deaths were random killings and others were natural deaths rigged to look like murders, but yeah -- there's no serial killer terrorizing Baltimore's homeless. Oh, and also the money devoted to that case was funneled into the investigation that led to the high-profile drug bust you were just on the news crowing about. So that entire case is about a discovery motion away from getting tossed into the compost heap. Other than that, Mr. Mayor, it's been a pretty run of the mill couple of weeks for the city.

 

Carcetti finally manages to string together a subject and a predicate within the 30-second time limit: "So let me just... understand this... um... So I've been going out there for weeks, slamming the governor for his neglect of the homeless and declaring that we will stop at nothing to find the person responsible for preying on the homeless, and -- hey, Norman... this is my ass here!" Norman has earned the mayor's full-frontal wrath for being unable to sufficiently suppress his laughter at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. "That's true, boss," says Norman, choking back giggles. "But it does have a certain charm to it. They manufactured an issue to get paid; we manufactured an issue to get you elected governor. Everybody's getting what they need behind some Make-Believe." And with that, Norman is reduced to peels of laughter. Hey, if you can't laugh at your own troubles -- laugh at Carcetti's.

The Wire