Back home, Ashley and Tiffany are in bed. His cell phone alarm goes off. He puts it aside and it goes off a few seconds later. He can't figure out how to turn off his alarm. Tiffany wants him to make it stop. He can't.

Then, Ashley is awake and shirtless and slicing a banana into a cereal bowl. He brings the cereal along with a glass of orange juice to Tiffany in bed. Awww, that was nice. Also nice is how you can just see the top of his buttcrack above his pajama bottoms. They look through a book of baby names. Tiffany says that the name has to be cool, and you have to think if it's going to be hot when the baby gets older. Do a Google search for the name of Ashley Parker Angel's baby and agree with me that they failed. Ashley suggests "Magical" or "Merlin," and Tiffany laughs. The t-shirted cat appears on the bed to silently watch and judge and wonder how it is that cats haven't yet achieved world domination. Ashley says that it was not fun growing up with the name "Ashley," and that he wants to make sure that the kid doesn't get made fun of the way he did.

Maybe you already did that Google search, in which case you got five points. But if not, I'll just tell you. They named their baby Lyric. Lyric Angel. And if your name is Lyric, I will just say, "Wow! What a great name!" and politely ask you to skip to the next paragraph. And then I will ask everybody else to shake their heads with me and mutter, "Jesus." Jesus Angel! Now there's a name. ["Is Lyric a boy or a girl? Not that one is any less queer than the other. In fact, forget it, I don't care." -- Wing Chun] Ashley says that when he was in fifth grade he tried to change his own name to "Matrix." At first I thought this was a case for why kids shouldn't be able to name themselves, but then realized that it's actually a case for why Ashley Parker Angel shouldn't be able to name anyone. Tiffany once again thinks that Ashley is a tool, and he argues that, as a boy named Ashley, chances were pretty slim against him being anything but.