At roll call, a glowering young man in uniform is staring everyone down. He looks like a young Jason Bateman crossed with Doogie Howser. I shall call him Sergeant Doogie Bateman. Bosco creeps in and the other man in charge, a short stocky man of the Sully variety, warns "Boscorelli" that it's the fourth time he's been late this month. You know you're in trouble when they call you by your entire last name. Sully says, loudly, that it's actually more like five times. Ty backs him up and says it's been twice this week. Wow, Bosco, you are quite hated. "You people got nothing better to pay attention to?" he asks, in a mannerism that sounds like it was picked up directly from Faith Yokas. Bless her sweet influence. The guy at the front of the room warns Bosco that next time he's late a command discipline will go in Bosco's file. The patrol sergeant, Doogie Bateman (real name: Jason Christopher), is introduced and Bosco is taken aback. "Jason Christopher?" he asks. "In the flesh," Faith replies, while leaning back to whisper. Everybody gets up. Faith greets Doogie Bateman. Doogie asks Bosco how he did on his sergeant test. Bosco says he didn't take it. "Well that's probably for the best," Doogie says snidely, and now he has gone from being merely Doogie Bateman to being Doogie McSnidely Bateman. Doogie leaves. Bosco asks what happened and Faith says he needs to patch things up with Doogie. Faith says she wants to go buy a lottery ticket. You and the rest of New York.
Outside on a street corner, Bosco is pacing and complaining. "Come on!" he yells into his radio. Faith is standing in line at a convenience store. She's trying to ignore Bosco's yelling. "I'm not standing out here all day!" Bosco yells. Yokas explains to the people around her, "Jumper. It's very tragic." Ha! Bosco paces around some more. He sees a shady-looking guy named Rudy suddenly steal a bag of oranges from a stand. Bosco clotheslines the guy, making him fall on his head. Bosco grabs him, then adds insult to injury by insulting the guy who just got injured. Bosco cuffs Rudy, pulls him up, and takes him to the squad car. He gathers the oranges (way to protect the public, Bosco!) and calls in the incident. Inside the store, Yokas is second in line. Bosco tells her what happened then insists they leave immediately. Yokas laughs and then gets mad because any other day, Bosco would have just let the guy go. She follows him, and asks what his problem is with her buying lottery tickets. They argue. Inside the car, Rudy is lying down. Bosco tells him to get up. The guy doesn't want to be seen. Faith throws an orange in the air and, oddly, it goes up and comes down in slow motion. The Hell is that supposed to mean? Leave the surreal stuff to Twin Peaks, okay? Rudy finally gets up and then POW! Shot through the head. Blood splatters against the window. Bosco and Yokas spin out of their seats and pull out their guns. Yokas yells into her radio. "Shots fired! Shots fired!" I hear Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta arguing about whether the gun went off or whether they ran over a bump. It's crazy! We go to the opening theme, which I have truly missed.