Third Watch
A Hero's Rest

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
The Day of The Reckoning

NBC is incessantly playing the most annoying Golden Globes commercial that could ever be. The only semi-compelling moment is when Courtney Love's boob almost falls out of her ripped black dress. And it's only compelling in that Courtney Love exposing her boob to the world is one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Back to the slow-motion, sound-effect producing lotto machine. This time, the 37 ball appears, as if the entire state of the world depended on it. Boom! Crash! BOOM! Crap!

Scene of the shooting: Kim and Bobby are examining the car. Bobby says it must have been a large-caliber weapon, because after all, he's a ballistics expert. He asks whether Yokas and Bosco are okay. "I will be after my ass unpuckers," Yokas says, in what may be the most brilliant line ever uttered on this show. They speculate on who could have killed Rudy Granger. Doogie Bateman arrives and tells Sully, who is examining the shot-at squad car, to get lost. Sully approaches Bosco and Yokas and says, "Wow." As in, "Wow, so glad it wasn't me." Ty says, "Sorry," on his way out, as in, "Sorry it was you and not Doogie." Doogie Bateman bitches out Yokas and Bosco over the "phantom shooter" and asks Bosco how he knew that Boscorelli was going to be his first problem. "Like I asked for this?" Bosco says. Yokas, who addressed Doogie as "Jason," also gets ranked out for not saluting and for calling him "Jason" out on the street. Yokas salutes and says, "Yes, sir." Doogie McSnidely Bateman has morphed into Doogie Tightass Bateman. Yokas explains to a black woman standing nearby that they all used to work together. "It was a misunderstanding," Bosco says. Yokas looks shaken. She wipes blood off of Bosco's face with a napkin, kid-style. I'm surprised she didn't lick the napkin first. "You should have just let me buy the ticket," she says.

In a squad car, Ty is speculating on how much happiness a mere lottery ticket could buy. Got Faust? Sully, meanwhile, is stewing over the young Sergeant Doogie Bateman. Sully feels he (Sully) is being treated like a first-year rookie. Aw, poor Sully. (I should have that phrase on a computer macro.) "I've got shirts older than that stiff-necked little son of a bitch!" Sully bellows. Sully and Ty do that not-at-all-cute thing where each of them is talking about different things and not listening to each other. Ty goes on about how he'd like to buy an island in the Caribbean if he won the lottery. Sully bellows some more, actually working in the not-at-all-overused phrase, "I'm too old for this crap!" Ty asks Sully if he's ever been to Jamaica. Rum punch. Half-naked women. Sully asks again about Doogie Bateman. Ty tells Sully he's not invited to the island when Ty wins the lottery. I think Sully would have been voted off Survivor pretty quickly. But he would probably do well on Temptation Island given his already repressive nature.

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Third Watch




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