Doc bravely says he'll be fine and silently rejoices that the "Brave Little Camper" trophy is now officially a lock -- until Carlos confesses that he didn't have time to call the dispatcher, so the station is unaware that they're missing and wouldn't know where to look anyway. That puts Doc in a sour mood. That, and all the blood flowing from his body.

At the office, Sully gets assigned to security duty for a Wu Tang Clan concert. Whatever. I think this is supposed to showcase distaste for Sully and Bosco -- who also gets nominated for a crap assignment -- but the whole thing is confusing and pointless. Just like a circular pencil.

At the firehouse, a Dalmatian wonders where the other hundred went and "Never the Same Girl Twice" plays on the stereo -- which is fine, but a waste, as Bosco isn't even in this scene. Kim is cleaning the refrigerator, Bobby stares at the alarm and silently wishes it would blare, and the entire staff goes a little stir-crazy. Someone mentions Carlos and Doc being missing-in-action. Jimmy, who just misses action, thinks they're fair game for some healthy pranking. "What are you gonna do, screw all their girlfriends?" mutters Alex under her breath. Kim grins. Aw. It's When Fantasies Collide. Jimmy talks about house hunting with his absent wife, and Alex tries to deflect an eager Bobby and his grand ideas about romantic dinner plans for the next night. To get away, she grabs the guy who's been winning the headstand contests and tells him she's ready to play. He calls her "the final frontier," and while Bobby fantasizes about her front, Alex accepts the challenge.

Tunnel of Drugs. Bosco is talking about the end of Planet of the Apes for some reason -- possibly, because he thinks it's based on his family life. Faith shines her flashlight beam on a trashcan and imagines that odd noises are emanating from within it. They inch closer. Bosco reaches in, freezes, then convulses and screams that something is biting him. Faith shrieks and jumps up and down, both helpful reactions from a trained cop. Amused, Bosco stops quivering and cracks up, because -- aaah! -- he was faking her out the whole time. "We're locked in a basement. It's funny," Bosco says in his own defense. Faith shoots him the kind of withering look that says, "If we were the last two people on Earth and we were naked and had a giant bed in front of us, I'd still vomit on your crotch and turn vegetarian." Faith points out that Doc is lying on the ground bleeding, and no one knows where the hell they are. Suddenly, they notice natural light -- it's a gate of some kind, but it's a false lead. Bosco trumpets that they're at the last stop on the No. 6 train, which is closed for renovations until 2002. He cackles, and Faith curses.