On a city street, Doc is standing around, looking like the world's mopiest stalker. He is staking out a building across the street. An elderly woman steps outside and Doc finds some stairs to a lower level where he can hide. He rattles a trashcan accidentally as the woman walks by. A man emerges from a door nearby and asks Doc, "Can I help you?" You see, Doc? Stalkers never prosper. "Wrong place," Doc mutters, and walks back up to the street level.

At the station, Alex tells Doc that Carlos called in sick. Kim asks Alex if she likes a sweater she picked up for her mother from a catalog. Kim says it's guaranteed delivery if you order before Dec. 23. Yeah, great, we get it. Everybody has to do holiday shopping. Bobby makes a brief appearance, asking Alex if they're still on for Saturday. She says yes while Kim gives them a funny look. Yes, fine, we give up, Kim. You can have every man in the world. We're all yours. Do with us what you will. Just stop with the goofy looks already. They receive a call and Alex comments, "Drunk bellyache." Doc snaps, "If you don't want to work EMS, then don't." Hey, I thought Alex and Doc were friends from way back in the day. Alex smiles and says that today's run should be fun.

At a bar, Doc is checking out a belligerent drunk guy who may or may not be having a heart attack. People around say the man was bitching about pain. Now the guy is saying he's just got gas. Doc tries to talk the man into going to the hospital. "What I need to do is take a dump," the man says, which doesn't come close to rivaling "nobody pees on the Diva" as a catchphrase, but hey, it may catch on someday.

Outside, Alex and Doc have a philosophical argument on the merits of deciding not to help someone when they refuse treatment. Doc is pro-treatment. Alex thinks they should just leave those people alone. Now you tell me, which one is a paramedic again? Another call -- auto versus pedestrian. They head that way.

In class, Carlos is wearing a goofy sweater combo and for some reason, he looks a lot like Lou Diamond Phillips in La Bamba. His fruit flies are getting loose. He curses while the annoyingly uptight and nerdy teacher comes up and says that "Mendel must be spinning in his grave right now." Why don't you go spin, teacher, but be sure to sit on it first. The teacher threatens to flunk Carlos and then he smacks his palms together, killing a fruit fly. "That might have been one of my virgins!" Carlos exclaims. Memo to teacher: slapping virgins is not cool. The teacher says that with or without the virgin, Carlos is "boned," a euphemism for "screwed." Only "boned" sounds dirtier. Carlos complains that he's not going to get into medical school. The teacher tells Carlos that, damn right, he's not going to get into med school: "Haven't you heard? Affirmative action's dead." Ouch. Carlos looks defeated. He sits down, sighing. Then he turns and sees the girl from before and gets an evil glint in his eye. "Hey, Janet," he says, spinning around. "Jane," she corrects. Oh dear.