Third Watch

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Mama...Just killed a man...

Opening credits. Amy Carlson has been added on, I see. Good for her.

Based on those Radio Shack commercials, I maintain that Teri Hatcher is shriveling before our very eyes.

Another Ti-Cheeze sequence. "Yoot jang" means "water." Or rather, "Go get a glass of water from the fridge while this dumb sequence is going on. Doc yells this time. "Eeyuh!" I completely fail to get goosebumps. Fists. Center. Release. Yack.

In the ambulance, Carlos is continuing to question Doc about Beverly. He asks if there's a Little Doc running around. Doc implies that there isn't, and says that he hasn't seen Beverly since the two of them graduated from high school. Carlos starts babbling nonsense about how awkward it can be to run into an old girlfriend because you know what they look like naked. And the boyfriend they have now knows that you know what they know that you know know what? It's not even worth it. To summarize: Shut up, Carlos.

Carlos and Doc arrive at an apartment where smoke is coming out of a stove. A mentally handicapped woman explains that she was trying to cook a turkey, but the fire had gone out and when she lit a match, it went "boom." Okay, first of all, a gas oven? Doc helps the woman, Darla, and makes sure she's okay. Her husband, Charlie, who is also mentally handicapped, announces, "I'm hungry!" Doc asks if anyone comes to help them out. Alex, Warrior Firefighter, horns in on the conversation. Doc tells Darla that he's going to take her to the hospital. Darla, who feels fine, says she hates hospitals and doctors. She argues that she doesn't want to go. Doc tries to entice her by offering Darla and Charlie a ride in the ambulance. Oh, please. Darla says she needs to make Charlie something to eat. Darla starts to yell and Alex butts in on Doc's business saying the woman only has minor burns. Carlos says, "Maybe she should stick to take-out." Alex laughs. Doc gets righteous and says that it isn't funny. He talks to them both outside. "These two people can't take care of themselves," he says. Alex argues. "Don't you have a fire to put out or something?" he retorts. Low blow, Doc. Alex asks Carlos what Doc's problem is and Carlos replies, "That's Monte Parker saving the world one patient at a time."

Next thing -- Carlos and Doc are walking through a university hall. It's weird to see Carlos in school because, well, he has no class. Thanks, Fat Albert -- I knew that joke would come in handy someday. Doc complains about how young all the students look. Carlos shows Doc his fruit flies. They are sterile or etherized or something. As they're talking, a woman comes up and sweetly says, "Hi Carlos." She's not a bimbo, so Carlos abruptly and rudely holds up a hand and says, "I can't talk right now." She goes away. The last vestige of a soul within Carlos also flits away. "Put my virgins down," Carlos tells Doc, randomly. The instructor walks in, calling Carlos, "the bus driver" and Carlos starts whining to him about needing more time for his project. The teacher is reluctant, but gives in to the sheer power of nagging that is Carlos. Doc takes a call on the radio. Turns out Carlos has bad test scores. Imagine the shift in mindset I'm having over my surprise in absorbing this information.

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Third Watch




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